Painful Nostalgia
by lostrealist05
Summary: There is no coming to consciousness without pain. What happens when two distinctly different lives become entwined from that consciousness? Will they overcome the painful sting of the past or will it tear them down for good. Primarily Brucas
1. The Same Deep Water as You

**Authors Note:** _This story is fairly AU so when reading it it's best not to assume relationships unless I have clarified them. A couple things I would like to make clear, in the beginning of this story the characters are not going to match with themselves on the show, but if you stick with the story some familiar quirks will appear. Also I am looking for criticism so any response I could get would be appreciated. Thanks for reading and I'd love to hear what you all think. Flashbacks are in italics. _

**Important! I keep getting reviews for this story, and while I appreciate them I feel as though you guys are being misled, so I wanted to make this clear before you start reading. I did decide to stop writing this story, so it is incomplete and it is likely that it will stay that way. There are nine chapters and I certainly hope you enjoy them and if you'd still like to tell me what you think of them that's wonderful and I appreciate that but just know that this story will not be updated. If you'd like an explanation you should go ahead and skip to the big AN I posted as chapter ten. **

* * *

Chapter 1 (The Same Deep Water as You)

_The silver glint of the belt buckle caught his eye, soliciting his small body to make a mistake, to raise his eyes from the floor, or shudder too excessively. His messy blonde locks hung loosely covered in nervous perspiration as the towering figure of his father stood gruffly in front of him. The normal seclusion that met the family nearly every night had been disrupted by the unwelcome call of Lucas's basketball coach requesting help at the yearly fundraiser. Although basketball had created a near sanctuary for both Lucas and his father, in two entirely different ways, the idea of collaborating with the close to thirty candidly happy families seemed less that appealing and brought on a less than ideal confrontation._

_Lucas's eyes remained trained to the ground, the harsh leather of his father's work boot sending out a warning itself. Nightly beatings had become somewhat of a rarity as things had been going smoothly as of late. He had finally considered the fact that as long as he didn't come into contact with his parents he was invisible and that seemed to be the way they preferred it. As his shrunken frame backed into the corner that one thing stayed constant in his mind, disappearing, whether temporary or forever._

_However a sharp jab from his father reminded him of the horror that lay before him. It didn't matter how bruised he was, how tired, or how many tears had fallen from his sweet blue eyes, there was nothing that could change his father's mind. Coming back to the reality of it a subtle but noticeable sob escaped his lips and he immediately felt the callous metal slamming into his cheekbones. His head shot back in response, he brought his small hand up to his newly acquired welt, gauging the severity of it. Yet another wound he would have to hide._

_She stood at the doorway watching as the belligerent altercation took place, a wavering pang of guilt hovering over her. It wasn't that she agreed with her husband, and it wasn't that she didn't love the little boy in need of rescuing. It was fear, a fear of her husband, but also of her son. Life had refused to be easy for any of the occupants of that house, but that little boy had been the light. He had been her reason for waking up, and he had saved the sorry excuse that was a marriage but his inability to loosen his guard questioned her abilities as a mother._

_Unable to watch anymore she backed up from the room, her hands grazing the pictures held in their glass frames, of a happy family, who had been long since locked in those very same glass frames, unable to discern between destructive behavior and the needs of a ten year old boy. _

* * *

Morphed into a six foot tall athletic machine that very same boy sat on the edges of his sanity starring out at a peace he would never know. His hands dug firmly into the cumbersome sand of the beach, as his eyes traced the union of ocean and sky wondering if perfection like that actually existed. 

Normally the party would have been up to her standards, but that particular night she found herself seeking solace in the beach and the lonely boy that sat entranced by it. Pulling the light cotton fabric of her sweatshirt closer to her body she ventured out of the house and down to the beach. Nerves had never played a large part in who she was and how she portrayed herself, but she would not go as far as to say she was confident. Too many years of unexpected surprises left her unsure of the world around her.

"Would you like some company?" She asked, her voice nearly fading into the crashing of waves and the dissatisfied breathing of the boy beside her.

With his eyes still focused on the scene in front of him, he lifted his broad shoulders into a gentle shrug. She quietly situated herself beside him, careful to leave him plenty of space.

As a child, living in California the beach had always held a sense of security for her. It was a soothing reminder of home and the peace and assurance that came along with that. She could nearly smell the flowery scent of her mother, and hear the hearty laughter of father as she would bury him underneath the sand. She could feel the oily sunscreen digging into her pores as her mother applied more than would ever be necessary. Unfortunately that woman had disappeared with that life and instead of the joyful company of her parents she was met by the silent, sullen company of a stranger.

Hours seemed to pass as the two of them basked in what could have been hushed repose. However the comfort that should have encompassed the two of them failed, just as most things seemed to.

* * *

A distant call broke both of them out of their reflective stares. Her eyes followed the sound leading her gaze with who she assumed to be Haley, her overly friendly neighbor, beckoning her. Brooke couldn't suppress her laughter as Haley's arms waved widely in the air, nearly knocking the teenage girl off her own two feet. Lucas's eyes however, still remained fixated on the ocean, and his mouth still formed a strong line assuring Brooke that he found the charade all too trivial. 

As her laughter died down she rather gracefully pulled her body up from the sandy sanctuary, dusting her hands off as she did. She turned to the boy in whose company she had shared for nearly two hours. His intent was obvious to her; he was hoping to find answers in the smooth perfection of nature, hoping to find a flaw that would prove that perfection was just a word and not a state of being. She had set out on that very same quest, only to be reassured that nothing was fair and what you got wasn't necessarily what you deserved.

"I guess I'll see you later then." She said, waiting for a response, assuming it to be a nonverbal cue as his previous acknowledgement had been.

He turned to her, the same nonchalant expression adorning his face, "What's your name?"

"Brooke." She managed to sneak out underneath the nearly tangible shock written across her face. She had assumed him to be slightly transparent, meaning that his quiet demeanor suggested a shy, offbeat persona but the throaty confidence that his words held suggested otherwise.

"Thanks for the company Brooke." He said curving his lips into what could only be described as a smirk.

Rummaging her mind for the confidence that she had so clumsily forgotten the only reaction she could think of was to match his. A polished smile broke out and as her pearly white teeth were revealed she felt her back straighten and her eyes brighten.

"No, thank you." And with that she left in search of the obviously intoxicated girl that had called her away.

* * *

"So, looks like you've found yourself a boy." Haley slurred, her finger poking Brooke in the shoulder as she swayed uneasily on her feet. 

"Looks like you found yourself a beer." Brooke quipped back, finding the situation less and less amusing by the second. "Is there a reason you called me up here?"

"Yes," Haley stammered as she attempted to straighten her body against the banister that stood firmly to the right of the two girls, "your cell phone has been vibrating forever." Choosing to elongate the last word she started to giggle despite herself, repeating it time and time again. Brooke watched Haley's slight fascination in her speech; it was obvious the girl could not hold her alcohol.

After guiding Haley to a seat she shuffled through her purse picking through compacts and a pair of sunglasses until she found her phone. The caller ID flashed Peyton, who happened to be one of her best friends from California. Brooke quickly flipped open the phone.

"Peyton!" She managed to squeal out, despite the blaring hip hop music that consumed the house.

"Hey Brooke, god I feel like it's been forever since I've talked to you, especially since apparently you don't believe in answering your phone anymore. I've been calling for like an hour."

"Sorry about that, I'm at a party right now so it's a little difficult to hear my phone vibrating when I can barely hear my own voice."

"How long have you been there again?" Peyton questioned, even though her purpose was clearly rhetorical. "Like three days and you're already at a party. There really is no mistake; you are the ultimate party girl." Brooke frowned slightly at her friend's statement, but shook it off, walking over towards the porch where there seemed to be less noise.

"Too bad the party sucks." Brooke heard Peyton laugh through the phone line, Brooke's blunt way of thinking and talking had always been a source of amusement. "I'm serious I've spent most of my time sitting on the beach with some guy."

"Now why does that not surprise me? You and a boy at a party, you see its almost like you never moved in the first place."

Brooke glanced at her reflection through the siding glass door to her left, taking in her appearance. It was so typical of her, wearing cloths that barely covered her body, let alone kept her warm against weather that she was just getting acclimated to. And apparently the party scene was hers as well. So far her new start had been nothing but a repeat of the life she left behind in California.

She found herself reminiscing with Peyton for nearly an hour and the thought of new beginnings stayed clearly imprinted in her mind. She had a chance to be something different and she was beginning to wonder why she was already wasting it.

Placing her phone back in her purse she scanned the premises one last time, taking in her new town of residence and the people that came with it. Her gaze stopped; as she peered out the back window an unexplainable comfort crossed over her as her eyes connected with him. He was proof that this town was not the superficial mess she had thought it to be and even more he was a challenge. She smiled briefly before turning back to the distraught girl behind her; she lifted Haley from the couch and led her out to the car. The two girls were next door neighbors; it was the least she could do.

* * *

Easing the car into the driveway he could only pray that a deep slumber had overcome the residents of that house. He jiggled the key in the lock; his rough hands not allowing the fluidity he had wanted. Finally the door broke open and he was surprised to see a lamp on and the disgruntled gaze of his mother starring pointedly at him from the kitchen table. She pulled her reading glasses away from a face that had learned over the years how exactly to hide emotion, it wasn't enforced that particular night. 

"Sit down," she called out to him, a sickening whisper that reminded him of the little girls in horror films with so much more held stubbornly behind their voices.

He complied, sitting in the seat opposite her, his face glowing with challenge and a satisfaction that few people could understand.

"Luke its three o'clock in the morning, your curfew is set for one." He was slightly disappointed to hear the return of a motherly lecture, instead of the scathing rant that she kept buried inside of her. "I suppose I should be pleased you aren't drunk this time but somehow the fact that I've wasted precious hours of my time as well as your father's waiting up for you doesn't bode in your favor. There are ground rules set in this house and believe it or not they do apply to you. It's not like this is the first time something like this has happened and you and I are both very aware of that. Lucas I am obviously struggling with getting through to you but if I do not see some distinct changes in your behavior then there are going to be consequences."

She paused looking over at her son, slouched in the chair in front of her, his disrespect was more than apparent. The stony look of his face and the coldness behind his eyes always managed to unsettle her but sitting in front of her with the nearly angelic light that had framed his rigid form she couldn't help but notice the irony. He was anything but an angel, but in truth it was only because he hadn't been given the chance. She held very little doubt that underneath his collective smirk there were years of unsheathed pain and a heart of gold that had been trapped under the complexities of life.

"Right now I think it's wise that we both head upstairs to bed, tomorrow is your brother's birthday so I would appreciate it if you would be awake to enjoy it with everyone." She stood from her chair walking over towards her son; in a moment of unexplainable hope she leaned down ready to plant a soft kiss on the top of his head only to be reassured that the glimpse of an angel was shrouded with hatred and distrust.

His body jerked quickly away from her in more of an instinctual move than anything as he tumbled off the end of the chair connecting himself with a row of bar stools. Smacking his elbow against the harsh tile flooring he groaned quietly but tucked the pain away for a time when he could fully process it. He lifted his body from the tile and stole a glance at his mother whose features had transformed from maternal to horrified, she backed away from him muttering _I'm sorry_ under her breath before disappearing into the master bedroom.

Cradling his elbow he examined it, years of self diagnosis had taught him to properly judge the severity of his injuries. He sighed as the pain faded, assuring him that it was nothing but a soft bruise to the body's most notoriously known bone, the funny bone. A laugh nearer to malice than to happiness pushed up from his throat. It all really was quite funny, that his reaction to his mother brought him pain and his response to pain yielded him laughter, not the tears he had ultimately been searching for.

The youngest sat at the top of the stairs, hidden from sight listening quietly, stirring in a curiosity that overwhelmed him. It wasn't so much the satisfaction of knowing his older brother was in trouble or the fact that Lucas seemed to be losing the battle of sibling rivalry. His interest was in the silence, in the hushed conversations that took place behind locked doors, in the secrets the whole family held onto but for whatever reasons he was not privy to.

Thunderous footsteps sounded up the stairs, he knew Lucas was on his way up. Nathan quickly scurried back to his room, shutting off the lights and settling himself into his bed. Confrontations between the two boys never went smoothly, especially the ones that Lucas didn't initiate. If the simple fact that he had been eavesdropping even occurred to Lucas he was certain that either a verbal or physical sparring match would take place. The younger boy's fear of conflict held steadfastly to his chest as his heart pumped, the adrenaline surging through his body.

Even though Nathan was light on his feet Lucas knew of his presence and with a furtive grin on his face he opened Nathan's bedroom door, peering in at the brown haired boy. He was certain a threat or menacing warning would leave his mouth but the tone of his voice unnerved him as his message took on a more genuine purpose.

"You know I can't really understand why it's all so interesting to you, I pray every night that I could forget and hopefully one day you'll realize that it's just not worth it." A quiet sigh and he was gone.

As soon as he was sure Lucas was gone Nathan sat up in contemplation. A distinct innocence guarded his expression. He didn't know if it was the four year age gap or the different lifestyles that made him and his older brother direct opposites but for the life of him he could never quite understand the pain written clearly underneath Lucas's words. Hours of his time were spent carefully dissecting his brother and the plain speech that clung to both of his parents. Memories of holidays where Lucas would utter some mixture of bland words that would set the entire family off rushed through his head. He could remember his mother escaping the room in tears and his father's varied reactions, however angry or unresponsive they may have been.

As Karen slid into bed beside her husband she couldn't stop the tears from falling. Somewhere along the way one of the most important relationships that she would ever have had been destroyed. They had watched as their eldest son spiraled downward only caring to address the disobedience rather than the reasons behind it. The warmth of her husbands body lying next to her was a constant comfort and even more so as his strong arms wrapped around her quivering body. However, sometimes the physical security was not enough. No matter how understanding or how dependable he could be she knew she could never trust him with her whole heart, not after what had happened. With disaster always lurking around the corner she couldn't afford to take that chance, but in some ways she couldn't afford not to.

The rough voice of her husband met her ears, "He just get home?"

It took her a moment to respond, swallowing her sorrow she whispered, "I don't think he's ever been home."


	2. Blood on the Ground

Chapter 2 (Blood on the Ground)

The shrill call of her alarm clock awoke her. Letting out a soft moan she pulled back the covers and swung her legs around the edge. Whether it was the late night or the new surroundings she had only been able to scrounge up a measly five hours of sleep, which would never meet the standards of a teenager. With a quick glance out her window her suspicions were confirmed, the movers had arrived.

Hustling downstairs she caught sight of her father, coffee in hand ordering the workers around. When she was younger the image would have fit quite nicely; her father had owned quite a dominating personality, one that didn't always agree with her mother's very similar characteristics, but things had changed. Family dynamics had been shattered and rebuilt enough times for both parental figures to reconcile and compromise. Deciding to not dwell on the past she made herself useful helping her father to direct the movers and monitor the safety of some of the more valuable and sentimental items.

To his surprise when he awoke that morning the familiar agony of a hangover was absent. Somehow or another he had gone to a party and not gotten hammered. He didn't know whether to blame it on the serenity of the beach of the brunette that had caught his attention, but either way it scared him. He could sense a distinct change blowing in his direction and he couldn't quite recognize whether the change would be positive or negative.

As sleep faded from his eyes he remembered. It was Nathan's birthday. He inwardly groaned; time spent with family was time wasted. Traditionally family holidays would go fairly smoothly, that was until he arrived. His less than cheery demeanor and sharp comments would interrupt his outwardly happy family and destroy any chance of paternal or sibling camaraderie. In some instances he would feel bad afterwards. It was never his intent to ruin the family gatherings but being trapped with his family pushed him all too far. With no place to blow off that steam his anger would build and lashing out at the family was usually only the beginning.

After he got dressed into proper running attire he crept down the stairs and quietly exited the house. Pleased with his clean escape he started to jog down the street with no particular destination in mind. Perhaps that had been his problem all along. He was always running, always looking for a way out but once he found it he could never be certain that he wouldn't run away from that too.

Most of the furniture had already been unloaded from the moving van so the majority of the movers were inside with her father. Brooke sat on the edge of the driveway, her fingers drumming a steady beat against the pavement. A large part of her missed home, she had lived there for her entire life and no matter how rocky things might have been there was a distinct comfort that California held with her. But it didn't matter how reassuring or soothing California may have been there were memories there, memories that she could do without and that was exactly why they had moved in the first place.

North Carolina was a drastic change and a part of her wondered if she should keep the trend going and change herself. She had never really been given the chance to discover herself, and even though the move had been sudden and came along with a good bit of anxiety she was excited for the second chance.

The smooth sound of rubber hitting pavement brought her out of the thought process. She looked up; the sight of him running in her direction slightly startling her. Quickly she regained her composure smiling lightly at him. Either he hadn't actually seen her or he choose to ignore her because the near opposite of a smile covered his lips.

Despite his lack of response she couldn't help but keep her eyes locked on him. Before she knew what she was doing she found herself giving him a once over in pure Brooke Davis style. The way his spiky blonde hair redirected the sunlight enraptured her, deep blue eyes and a strong jaw line was the next to catch her attention. She continued to admire the rest of him, from his toned upper body hidden only by a muscle shirt to the tight muscles of his calves pumping at every stride. He was gorgeous, and she was interested.

_A powerful shot to his shoulder had pushed the boy's head straight into his nightstand, a sickening crack warned him of the damage. He sat in petrified silence as crimson blood spilled out from his nose. His small hands left his sides, unraveling himself from the fetal position; he brought them up to his face and waited. He watched as his innocent, chaste hands filled with blood all because of a battle he was forbidden to fight back in. The red liquid gushed its way down his features leaving his once gentle, cherubic face looking much more affiliated with the devil than any angel. Soon enough a steady stream of tears matched that of the blood as their salty taste leaked into his weeping mouth. He had stayed too late at the park, and now he had learned his lesson._

_With her ear pressed to the door she heard the startled cry of her oldest and the guilt wasted no time in consuming her. It was killing her to have to hear him in so much pain, her baby boy, who had been the truest blessing was in need and she couldn't bring herself to help him. She slid down the wall, tears swiftly escaping through eyes that had sat back and watched as the torture took place._

_Suddenly the vigor in his cries died down, his exhausted little body surrendering to the pain. Sleep was his sanctuary and he could only pray he would reach it. However nearly the second he quieted the door flung open to the disquieting sight of his frantic mother, worried that the diminishing energy in his cries was a more morose sign. At first sight of him her inhibitions were gone; she wasn't worried about him turning her away, or her angry husband that still lingered downstairs waiting for another confrontation. _

_She was quick to notice the blood that trailed from his face and met in a reflective pool at his feet. Hoping to soothe her obviously distraught son, she brought her hand to his face, ready to wipe away the downpour of tears that he had tried so hard to keep hidden. With her hand nearly an inch away from his face she made the mistake of looking him in the eye. Fear and distrust radiated out from his steely blue eyes and it shook her more than she would have liked._

_There was no question that he was in need of help and as a mother it was her duty to provide him with that. But the look in his eyes and the stiffness of his body suggested he didn't condone her as the one to provide him with that assistance. Holding his rejection in the tightness of her jaw she grabbed at his arm pulling him forcefully to his feet, eliciting a subtle whimper from his parched, blood caked lips. His gaze fell steadfastly to the floor as she led him into the restroom._

The second he got home his first thought: shower. He let out a tight groan as the steam encompassed him, like a blanket of peace holding onto his wellbeing. Warm water cascaded down his sculpted body, running smoothly down flesh that had been tested by the unforgiving hands of a man that could not shoulder blame. Lathering his body with soap his rough hands traced over grooves and ridges that held the stories of the past. Imprints that carried a daily reminder of the physical and emotional scarring he had been put through.

He brought his hands up to his face, clearing away the collection of water that sat above his brow. In doing so his index finger rubbed against the bridge of his nose. He stopped. An eerie sense of recollection fell before him as he felt himself fading into the background of a memory he had tried so hard to forget. With the exception of the soft water droplets falling to the bottom of the shower there was silence. The steady rhythm of his heart pounded into his chest and he found himself gasping for air, suffocating in the pain of his childhood. His vision clouded and he could have sworn the water temperature dropped.

_She situated him on the edge of the bathtub, the cold porcelain biting into his soft skin._

"_Stay still." She commanded, as she raised a wet towel to his face, preparing herself for the damage that lay buried underneath dried blood and tears. As the wash cloth fell across his nose she heard a soft hiss of pain, but for both their sakes pretended that she hadn't. Once his face revealed itself she brought her hand to his chin, lifting his head that lay firmly tucked against his chest. Nothing appeared to be broken, which meant one less trip to the emergency room, and one less believable lie to hide under._

"_Get up." He complied and raised his hands as she pulled his blood soaked t-shirt from his body. She placed it into the sink beside her and started a shower for him. Knowing the routine all too well he stepped inside tossing his shorts out to her he stood underneath the water as the story of the night washed away, trapping itself in the drain. Karen left the bathroom and closed the door. _

_Cold water rained down his back as he trembled. Too afraid to step out, or call out to his mom he stood there and waited. His flushed body became raw as the cold water cut into his skin, each drop hitting him like a sharp knife. Waves of dizziness crossed over a body that had been fighting sleep for all too long. Blue eyes flickered against the dim light, he was so tired, so exhausted but he had to stay awake._

_She returned nearly fifteen minutes later, warm blankets in hand. Pulling back the shower curtain she was appalled at the sight before her. His skin had taken on an unhealthy tint and as his teeth chattered she was forced to hold back a waterfall of tears for nearly the third time that night. _

"_I'm so sorry baby," she whispered as he looked up at her, confusion evident in his eyes, as if he didn't understand how she could be sorry. His body shuddered once more and she immediately pulled him out, wrapping the warm towel around his freezing body. She led him back to his room, sitting him down on his bed she tried rubbing her hands against the towel, hoping to soothe him and return vital warmth to his body. _

_His eyes traced the gentle slopes of her face, finding comfort in smooth brown eyes and dark wavy hair. It was hard to understand how in one moment the sight of her brought out fear and near abhorrence and the next all he saw was a thoughtful mother trying her best to shelter him from pain. He had no choice but to trust her and to forgive her. She was all that he had and while the thought of disappointing his father frightened him the thought of loosing his mother as an ally was even harder to stomach._

_He reached out toward her, catching her feminine wrist in his hand be brought it closer to his face. His small fingers traced the contours of her hand, dipping in between digits. The distinct color of red coated her hand and seeped its way into her fingernails._

"_Did he hurt you too?" He asked his tiny heart pounding heavily as he released her hand._

_She turned her head away from him, holding back a sob. Biting down on her lower lip she faced him, shaking her head. "No Luke, you saved me." And in so many ways he had._

His body trembled just the way it nearly ten years ago because in so many ways that life was still upon him and no amount of security or love would ever be able to heal the wounds of the past.

Pushing those memories to the back of his mind he stepped out of the shower. Wrapping a towel around his waist he pushed the bathroom door open and headed towards his room.

Karen eased up the stairs, looking to surprise the birthday boy with a wake up call that would surely put on smile on his face. She caught sight of Lucas, his bare back facing her. It was hard for her to remember the last time she had seen his chest and back. He was always hiding his body from her, from everyone, trying to keep the physical reminders of his past to himself. With a sharp sigh she decided he wasn't getting away with it today.

"Luke." She called out to him.

His body visibly tensed, his back muscles tightened and she could see his triceps flex in some testosterone filled defense mechanism. When he didn't turn around she felt her cheeks redden in frustration. The obedient son hat had fallen to Nathan and Lucas rarely ever thought twice about disobeying his parents. With her lips pursed together she tried to revive her optimistic demeanor, hoping to please the son that hadn't been tainted.

The entire family except Lucas sat peacefully at the large mahogany table, light talk coursing through them. Karen's petite hand rested in her husband's much larger, more masculine one, a fit so perfect it scared her at times. The way her flesh seemed to mold to his, it was flawless, but it suggested that maybe, just maybe, it all hadn't been a mistake.

His fingers were closely intertwined with hers' and his wrist sat firmly on her pulse point. He had noticed the sadness etched across her face after she had returned from waking up the boys, but he did not ask about it.

Lucas came trudging down the stairs moments later, and much to the satisfaction of his mother sat down at the table with the rest of the family. Karen smiled warmly, willing to pretend just for that moment that they were a happy family of four celebrating a special day for her youngest son, a wish that realistically would never come true.

Nearly the second Lucas sat down Keith felt Karen's pulse jump. She went from being calm and collected to flustered and anxious. Her palm started to sweat and her grasp on his hand tightened, but as her eyes averted to Lucas she quickly unraveled their discreet embrace letting both her hands fall to her lap.

Lucas had never expressed any sort of personal problem concerning her relationship with his father but she couldn't imagine it was easy for him. During his childhood they had come to an understanding that they were a team set against his father and no matter what they would stick together. That arrangement had been tested by her fear of rejection and Luke's untrusting demeanor but somehow it had survived over the years. Apparently now things had changed; Karen was evidently going back on their agreement.

Pushing regret to the side Karen fell back into the peacefulness that had so charitably encompassed the family. She turned to face Nathan, "Any big tests tomorrow?"

The youngest groaned, not wanting to discuss school on a day that he claimed his own, but the encouraging glance from his mother, and warning beckon of his father urged him to reconsider. Nathan looked over at Lucas for a moment, envying the way his older brother didn't have to even think about disobeying their parents.

"I have one in science, something about simple machines."

Karen folded into her overly positive mom persona, a fakeness that resonated with the two older males that sat at the table. "That sounds interesting," she turned to Lucas. "Did you ever learn about simple machines?"

The table waited in silence for Lucas to answer, causing a slight awkwardness to flood the table. He murmured a nearly audible _yeah_ and immediately both adults felt their faces flush, one in anger, the other in embarrassment.

"Nathan why don't you head upstairs," Keith asked, never taking his focus off Lucas. Nathan obeyed, just as always, despite his overpowering interest in what was about to take place.

As soon as the door to Nathan's room clicked shut Karen's mouth opened.

"Your father and I would like to talk to you," she stated firmly reassuring him that he was not off the hook. "I told you last night that things needed to start changing and your father and I stand by that."

Lucas averted from eye contact with his mother, instead tracing the wood patterns on the table with his index finger, clearly bored.

"Luke look at your mother!" Keith demanded, Lucas sighed as he casually lifted his head.

Karen continued, "If we do not start to see a change in your behavior things are going to get taken away from you, do you understand me?" When he did not answer she continued, hushing Keith with a swift tap on the shoulder. "You've been lucky so far with all the privileges that we have given you…"

A sharp cackle slipped from Lucas's mouth as he stood from the table, emphasizing his agitation. "I'm lucky?" He questioned. "Is that supposed to be a joke? Am I lucky that I have to look at this poor excuse for a family everyday and wonder what I did to deserve to be part of it?" Careful that he did not meet his father's gaze he spoke again. "Or am I lucky that I have more scars than birthdays because some stupid fuck couldn't control his anger?"

His questions met with an all too familiar silence but as he turned to walk away forceful hands circled around his arm confining him to a room with the two people that had let him down the most. He could feel anger building in his gut and it was taking nearly every mental restraint he could conjure up to not return the gesture to his father.

Karen caught Lucas's eye and for a moment it was just the two of them. He thought back to the memory that had struck him earlier, and considered the pleading expression she wore.

"Get off me," he said, as he shook his father's grasp from his arm and walked out of the house, slamming the door as he exited.

Karen's hands encircled her coffee mug, similarly to the way Keith had done to Lucas's arm. She held it firmly together starring down at the brown liquid it contained, worried that if for just a moment she loosened her grasp it might fall to the ground and shatter, much the same way the peaceful morning had exited.

"Is it really necessary for you to grab him like that? Don't you think he's had his fair share of that?" Venom laced through her words as she spoke, finding it hard to stomach that after years of seeming compliance between the two men a rift had been opened and a path of subtle abuse had slipped through.

Keith threw his hands up in frustration; a sight that Karen thought would have made both her and Lucas shiver inwardly years ago. "God, it's like no matter what it always comes back to that. He was a kid, he's not anymore. He knows it's not the same thing."

"And how could you possibly know that or anything about him for that matter? The only time you two ever spend together is when you're yelling at him." She tried to ignore the immature eye roll she got in response. "I see him everyday struggling with what happened to him. He has the right to be affected by that. It's not something that just goes away Keith. He's going to have to live with it for the rest of his life and we can only pray that as an adult he doesn't copy the behavior he grew up with."

"But there's nothing we can do about that. Nothing can be changed, no apology or talk is going to erase what happened. He needs to put it behind him, and you need to allow me to parent him, and if you see him everyday why aren't you being the parent he needs? Why aren't you putting down boundaries, why isn't he behaving? This _lets talk_ style of parenting doesn't work with him, he needs something firmer and stable and I can provide that, but not if you're going to sit back and second guess every choice I make with him." A flash of vulnerability ran through his body, as a frustrated man took in the power of his wife. "When are you going to trust me with him?"

A clear _never_ reverberated in her mind as she considered his question.

"I spent a good portion of my life watching my son suffer, and I suffered with him. This is not about trust, this is about instincts and I know Lucas, and I know what he needs and the only thing that your style of parenting is going to do is upset him and he's had enough of that."

Keith stood from his chair, grabbing the dishes that had been left behind hoping that she understood that abuse would not follow as punishment any longer.

"He's not that boy anymore. He's stronger now, he can handle it. I think the real question is, can you?"

She watched as he left the kitchen, leaving her with a pile of uneaten food to clean up. Instead of busying herself like she normally would she sat back in her chair trying to hold on to a hope that had been so carelessly lost. Keith was right they needed to be firmer with Lucas. However Keith had never noticed how much he had changed the people in that house, how their lives had been transformed because of him, just as Karen didn't notice the boy that sat at the top of the stairs in deep contemplation about an argument that didn't quite add up in his mind.


	3. The Struggle Continues

**Author's Note: **_Thanks to my reviewers, especially you guys that punched out longer ones, I really appreciate the feedback. Sorry this chapter took such a while, but it is here finally. Unfortunately I was going over my latest update and realized that my characterization of Brooke was unrealistic. So I went back through the two chapters I already had posted and tried to fix that, so I suggest going back and reading that. I apologize once again, I'm hoping this is the last time I have to go back and redo a chapter. Just as a warning of sorts, this is a more laid back chapter, so don't be too incredibly disappointed. The real drama will start soon enough._

_Also wanted to bring this to everyone's attention as well, so far all my chapter titles have been songs. I'm not sure how popular my music tastes are so I don't know if anybody noticed. This next chapter The Struggle Continues is from an amazing alternative rock band called Nural. I just wanted to kind of give them a little shout out because they are greatly underappreciated. They deserve a lot of credit for their talent and the issues they are putting out there with their music. So check them out. As always thanks for reading and please review!_

* * *

Chapter 3 (The Struggle Continues)

Haley awoke near noon to an unfamiliar taste in her mouth and the harsh beating that sifted through her head. She found herself slumped over pillows on the strangely large couch that enveloped her family's living room. The last thing she could clearly remember was being led to a keg and falling into the beat of music she could only describe as loud.

Lately Haley's life had not quite been the image of perfection, everything had dropped off and even her normal vivacious attitude was having trouble bouncing back. High school pettiness appeared to have infiltrated her life and along with the friendships she had let slip through her fingers she was paying the price for the individuality that she had once been proud of. When friends surrounded her she could be herself but once they were gone that spunky, talkative girl went with them.

Some of them had moved out of town, others had been put off by her achievements along with the fact that for her college was not going to be about partying with friends, but reaching for a lifestyle she had desired ever since she was a kid. The truth was she was planning on leaving all of them once college rolled around the corner and since that day was getting closer and closer those friendships had dissolved as some sort of disillusioned defense mechanism. In a way, it was her fault, she had purposely set out to find disposable friends and she had. But it was for the best, one more semester and she could put them and high school behind her.

She stood up from the couch. Gripping the coffee table for support she waited until the room stopped spinning and walked into the kitchen to meet both of her parents.

"Haley," Her mother exclaimed, with a secretive glance to her husband she continued. "Late night?"

Haley merely nodded fumbling through bottles of pills searching for something to take the pounding away. When she succeeded she popped two pills into her mouth, dry swallowing both of them and turning back around to face her parents.

"Am I about to be lectured?" Haley asked.

Her father shook his head.

"No, a friend of yours dropped by this morning looking for you, concerned with why you felt the need to party so hard last night."

Haley nodded, an undetectable smile forming on her lips. It was nice to know at least somebody cared.

"Are you alright Hales?"

She studied her mother for a moment and then her father, both of whom had been nothing but exemplary parents, but for some reason she still didn't trust them with the truth.

"Yeah, I just needed a night to let loose."

* * *

Brooke glanced back at the house. If it weren't for the moving van that sat out front any passerby would have been oblivious to the fact that their was actual work going on inside. Sometimes she wondered if that's what people had thought when saw her, if she had just been a face, and a stereotype instead of a person with real problems and real pain. It didn't help that no one had bothered to open the door, or that she had swallowed the key 

After Haley finished freshening up she collected her self and walked over to Brooke's house. She spotted the brunette sitting on the end of her driveway, wearing a pensive stare that she too had been seen in from time to time.

Brooke's ears tuned in to the soft pacing of Haley's feet. She turned around to greet her, a friendly smirk overcoming her features.

"Hey Haley," she took in the honest expression the blonde's face, "you need to talk?"

A blunt sigh of relief was Brooke's answer as Haley plopped down beside her onto the pavement.

"You have no idea. I can't believe nobody ever told me that the morning after is so much worse then the night of, two hours of which I spent leaning over my toilet vomiting some mixture of alcohol and potato chips."

Brooke crinkled her nose in disgust, but managed an empathetic smile. "I'm guessing we're talking about your very first hangover." When Haley nodded Brooke continued. "Just so you know, I could do without the visual next time."

As Haley's cheeks flamed in embarrassment Brooke planted a reassuring pat on her knee. "No worries, just like I said next time you'll know to leave certain parts out."

"I don' think there's going to be a next time. Last night was successful in educating me on why exactly my best friend used to cower in corners on Sunday mornings. I really just want to hide in a dark room at this point." Slowly enunciating once more she turned to Brooke. "I am never drinking again."

"Oh, well now you're just being pessimistic, surely you at least enjoyed your lack of inhibitions last night, plus you even got me to chauffer you home, which in itself is a fairly exciting event. Especially after I lost my footing and we both face planted in your front lawn, successfully butchering a bunch of surprisingly ugly flowers."

Both girls shared a laugh as the moment of swift sarcasm effectively broke the barriers that sat between the two of them. Pleased to see that ice had broken, Haley's expression sobered.

"In all seriousness I really just wanted to thank you for last night, things could have gotten a whole lot worse if you hadn't stepped up for me."

"Your welcome," Brooke replied a strangely serious expression replacing her normal devious smile. "But after all you can't really call it a successful party unless you get to drag either yourself or one of your friends home wasted."

Haley smiled in response as a genuine silence surrounded the two teenage girls. She pondered the thought of befriending someone who she was certain she would be leaving in a few months time. So far she had been dead on in her search for disposable friends but she quickly began to wonder why exactly she had chosen to torture her self in such a manner. It really was quite strange given her personality that the idea of purposefully distancing herself from people had even come up, but then she knew exactly why it had. It was because of him. She had watched him pull away from everything and everyone including herself and in some odd act of loyalty she had done the same.

Holding the pleasure of a newly found friendship close Haley interrupted Brooke's introspective stare.

"Did you at least have fun the other night?"

Brooke contemplated for a moment, while the night had been many things she would never have jumped to the word fun. It had been enlightening, the sore reminder of her past still sticking to her. Even though the beach had brought some comfort it had also brought on an uneasiness that Brooke was having trouble understanding. Never one to hold back information especially that which concerned members of the opposite sex Brooke spoke.

"I met someone," she paused for a moment, fighting fiercely against the blush that crept its way to her cheeks, almost in mocking of the embarrassment Haley had tried to hide seconds earlier. "I don't know what it is about him, but we must have spoken ten words to each other and he somehow managed to sneak his way into my head." She paused, noticing the sarcastic irony _into my head and into my heart._ She was anything but a hopeless romantic, love at first sight was a crock but the subtle longing in her chest confirmed her fear that he was having some effect on her. "I can't stop thinking about him. It's ridiculous."

"Maybe it's not." While Haley had never found herself involved in any type of high school romance that could contend with love she didn't hold doubt that there wasn't such a thing. Her parents had been excellent role models as to the power that unconditional love could offer and she knew that no matter how far academics got her she would always strive for, and always encourage love, however vague or silly that love seemed to be. "Some people are just like that, once you get a taste of who they are its hard to just let them slip from your thoughts. I guess I don't really know what to tell you, it's not something I have a lot of experience with."

"Love or fawning after boy's you've just met?" Brooke replied a clean smirk planted firmly on her face.

She allowed herself to enjoy the irrationality of the situation. She was over analyzing a simple crush that she very well could have made based on an outside appearance and a night of silence. Moving to a new town had ripped through her sense of belonging, taking with it security and comfort and even though she swore to herself that she didn't need anybody else in her life her longing for company nearly doubled with her new surroundings. Whoever he was she could be certain it wasn't all about him.

* * *

His feet slammed ruthlessly into the pavement as his arms pumped in a fury that he couldn't contain any longer. Truthfully he was fighting the option of picking some random person off the street and punching them in the face. Controlling anger had never been one of his strong points. No amount of fist clenching or swearing would ever be able to soothe the disdain and rage that overcame him. He wanted so badly to set everything straight, to send his parents the message they deserved but another part of him was playing hero. Despite the fact that his parents had brought on a childhood of hells a small part of him needed to protect them. At that point he had alienated any of the friends that had served him a purpose other than beer and sex and family was the only social circle that hadn't completely given up on his ability to form a relationship. It didn't matter that the reasons behind his problems started with that same family. He knew that no matter what his loyalties would always lay with his mother even though her part in his childhood had hurt him more than he could ever let on. 

He spotted the familiar beach that he had found refuge in the night before and headed in its direction. His mind quickly triggered back to the girl that he had spent the silence with; welcoming any thought but anger into his head he began to relax. In his opinion there were very few people who could actually appreciate silence, and the bubbly, cheery person that she had come off as wouldn't have been one of the types. But then life was full of surprises, and even as he had witnessed her façade shatter and reconstruct itself he saw a lot of staying power in her, and that he liked.

Once he arrived at the water's edge his body collapsed to the sand, thankful that for once something with give had broken his fall. His mind and body were both worn out but he welcomed the exhaustion. Slowly he let himself fall into the melody of the waves, his breathing moving at the painfully slow pace of the tide, lulling him into a trance that would eventually shed hours of his time away.

After wasting away most of daylight Lucas decided to leave the quiet retreat of the beach, realizing full well that as soon as he got home some mild fiasco would be his welcome back. He took one last look towards the sunset before turning around and heading home. With his body too exhausted to run he settled for an agonizingly slow walk that mirrored the path he had taken earlier that day.

Brooke's afternoon had been slightly more productive. Having spent most of the afternoon getting to know Haley her confidence had been significantly boosted. Her first day at a new school was upon her in less than twenty four hours and it was comforting to know she had at least one ally.

Catching a swift glance at the figure that appeared to be walking toward her she decided that she would forget about the incident with him that morning. She could only imagine what had been on his mind, but that didn't mean she was going to pass up yet another opportunity to talk to him.

"Hey!" She called out to him, her exuberance slightly surprising herself.

Lucas looked up to find Brooke standing nearly ten feet away from him, wearing a gleaming smile that he recognized from the other night. He smiled back, cutting across the street to talk to her. _Perfect_, he thought, yet another reason to stay away from home.

"Brooke right?" He questioned, already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, unfortunately I didn't quite catch your name the other night."

"Lucas." He replied smoothly, his eyes taking in the sight of her.

She smiled, noticing the way he seemed to be giving her the same once over she had given him that morning. "So do you live close by, or is it just a hobby of yours' to stalk the new girls?" Her tone was soft, and flirty, letting him know it was all in good fun.

He considered for a moment, "Both," he paused. "So I take it by the moving truck you're new here. Are you starting school soon?"

"I start tomorrow, somehow my dad managed to set up everything with school even though half of my personal belongings are still back at our old house."

"That sucks. Do you at least have beds?"

"Yes, we did manage the luxury of beds. Luckily I'm not going to have to rough it on the hardwood floors." She spoke assertively, watching his reaction. It was almost as though the more confident she got the less confident he became. So far her evaluation of him was all over the place. He was quiet, but cocky, he was introspective but slightly outgoing and at the moment he appeared to be somewhat overwhelmed. She waited for a reply from him only to get caught up in the depth of his eyes. Breaking her own reverie she spoke again.

"Oh come on, lets hear all the new girl questions. 'Where are you from?' 'Why did you move hear' I can tell you're just dying to know."

He smiled softly and took a seat on the sidewalk, waiting as she did the same. It was silent for a moment; she found that it only greatened her interest in him. Somehow he managed to pull off a mysterious quality that enticed her quite possibly more than she would have liked. He turned to her, "So where you from?"

She grinned widely, "How original of you." Brooke stopped to admire the masculine smile that left her nearly star struck. "I'm from California, born and raised surfer girl," she confessed.

"California," he repeated, glancing down at her apparel. "You must have already gone shopping; I can't imagine you see a lot of girls wearing jeans and turtlenecks over there."

"You disappointed?" She asked, with a suggestive undertone to her voice, only to receive a response that was nearly unknown to her.

His easing going demeanor gone a familiar scowl stood guard over an unlikely insecurity, "What's that supposed to mean?"

She nearly jumped backwards by the disdain and near cruelty of his expression, which effectively ended any chance of them continuing their playful banter.

The edge of his voice even managed to surprise Lucas but that morning had his patience running thin and he didn't take kindly to people making assumptions about him, especially her. Unintentionally he had allowed her a glimpse at a side of him few people got to see. The thoughtful boy on the beach was unknown to nearly everyone that knew of him and even though it offset him a great deal that she knew that side of him, he was also looking to her for an improbable and inadvertent salvation.

"So why'd you move here?" He asked, surprising her with his question, and unexpectedly soft, genuine tone. The tone that he had spit out nearly the second she had made an accidental remark that he took as stereotyping.

"My dad's business, and I guess the both of us just needed to get away from home. For some reason it just wasn't all it was cracked up to be." Lucas looked away from her, starring out onto the road in front of them, watching the street light bounce across the asphalt, nearly leaving the two of them in a spotlight of sorts.

"I know what you mean. I've been out all day just trying to avoid _the comfort of home_." He mocked, his dry sense of humor resonating with her.

She took a chance. "Is there something you're running from?"

Brooke watched as he considered for a moment, running his hands over the back of his head and the close cut blonde hair that resided there. He moved so he was looking right into her eyes, admiring the light hazel that reflected his own deep blues perfectly.

It was hard not to notice the pain in his expression and the way he seemed to be searching for loyalty in her eyes. Right as the words left his mouth his shoulders slumped and his gaze downcast. A great deal of shame and hurt illuminated his form.

"I wish I wasn't, but sometimes I think I am."

"Me too," she replied softly.


	4. Price to Play

**AN: **_As a courtesy I'd just like to warn everyone that this story may be going on hiatus for a little while, due to some personal issues. Basically either I will have very little time for this story or a lot, and at this point I'm not sure as to which it will be, but I hope you guys will stick with me, especially because this story is just getting on its feet. This chapter sort of steers away from the heart of this story, but if I get positive response for this type of scene I will continue to write other one's like it. But I'm not going to change any story lines because of it. And I know you guys like the flashback scenes and they will be reappearing soon._

_Once again thanks to my reviewers! I really appreciate you guys and I hope you all enjoy!_

* * *

Chapter 4 (Price to Play)

The pestering sunlight of the morning drifted into his room, reminding him that the weekend was over and the cruelty of school was soon to be upon him. He had been relatively lucky the previous night, with most of the parental attention geared towards wishing Nathan a happy birthday Lucas's misbehavior, as they would have called it, had been forgotten for the time being. It would take a few more rash decisions and arguments to convince his parents to confront him again and just like always he would respond negatively and they would try to pretend it had never happened in the first place. Whether he liked it or not it was his life; he lived through this never ending cycle of poorly made decisions and punishment that was neither warranted nor effective.

With his eyes dangerously close to being shut he stumbled his way down the stairs and collapsed onto the sofa, catching the inquiring glance of Nathan. There were times that Lucas could understand his younger brother's quest for answers, he had his fair share of questions as well. But unlike Nathan Lucas knew the repercussions of those answers, and the outlook was decidedly grim.

Karen twirled the spoon in her coffee mug as she watched Lucas settle his body into the leather couch. Silence filtered around her as she focused on her oldest. She could hear the soft hum of his headphones and the rubbing of denim against leather as his foot beat to the rhythm of the music. She only wished that same fluid, satisfied rhythm could be his life, rather than the rare minutes he spent in another world entirely.

She smiled to herself, knowing for at least a moment he was content. Karen turned back to Nathan, who sat at the kitchen counter, his science notes sitting neatly beside the lavish breakfast she had prepared for him. She sighed softly knowing that she andKeith had created an almost unreal life for Nathan. Lucas' upbringing had been all too real and the product of that reality was a sadistic, surly young man whose torment followed him around like his own shadow. They did not wish that for their youngest son.

Nathan perused over his notes once more trying to focus on school rather than the intangible puzzle of his family. He knew very well that his own flesh and blood were keeping a monumental history to themselves and as a child he could only see the negative. Through his perspective they weren't doing it to protect him, they were doing it to outcast him. He figured his only chance of gaining access to that family and those stories was to be more desirable, to become the perfect child, and in essence he had done just that.

The irony of it all was the fact that everything about his life was completely and utterly fake. His grasp on life was incredibly naïve and as soon as he was brought into the real world that unknown façade would shatter and the only person he would be able to trust would be his brother, instead of the two parental figures he had modeled his short live after.

Karen chimed in disrupting both boys' from their thoughts, "I'm off to work, I'll see you two tonight." She dropped a motherly kiss on Nathan's cheek and a longing glance at Lucas who had acknowledged her departure with a stiff grunt.

After wiping the lipstick from his face and interpreting the readily readable expression that sat atop Karen's face Nathan muttered a sweet goodbye to his mother.

She smiled in response, "Good luck on your test!"

* * *

Lucas pulled his headphones from his ears and grabbed his backpack, storming out the door, leaving Nathan to chase after him if he had any hope of getting to school on time. 

By the time they were both seated in the car Lucas had fiddled with the stereo, relaxing slightly as rock filtered through the speakers. He didn't know why music had such an effect on him, but sound offered him comfort. Whether it was the smooth crashing of waves, or the quiet whistle of the wind, or even the soft breathing of company he couldn't get enough of it. He liked to know he wasn't entirely alone, but he also preferred to keep everybody at a distance. It was a tradeoff that haunted him constantly.

Nathan carried an unabashed distaste for Lucas's musical tastes, mostly because they disrupted his perfection. Lucas essentially listened to tragedy, lyrics that spoke of lost love and past regret, of a kind of hurt and shame that didn't exist in Nathan's world. As far as he was concerned pain was an afterthought. It was something private and pathetic. He drew this conclusion solely on the anguish he had met personally; he seemed to think that if he could get over his pain without scrounging up sympathy and support so could everybody else. Sometimes that was the case, sometimes it wasn't.

The younger boy's attention turned towards the argument he had listened in on the prior morning. He turned to face his brother. Nathan's mouth opened and quickly shut in hesitation for Lucas's reaction. It took him several minutes to scrounge up the confidence.

"So what happened yesterday?" Nathan's question rang out loud and clear, shaking the calm from Lucas's body.

When five minutes past without an answer Nathan pushed the subject again. "How come mom doesn't trust dad?"

Lucas gripped the steering wheel tightly, his short fingernails digging into the skin of his palms. While Lucas could sometimes understand Nathan's curiosity it always managed to annoy him. With a glance in his review mirror he pulled off to the side of the road, a flurry of cars swerved around his reckless driving, honking horns and muttering obscenities. Lucas smiled.

He then turned to his brother, "Get out."

Nathan looked back in question of his brother, but hurriedly pulled his seatbelt off as he saw Lucas exit the car. The two boy's stood near the hood of the car, Lucas's hands folded in front of his chest, helping to hold in the frustration that was about to blow.

"So are you going to tell me or what?" Nathan asked, quite candidly.

"It doesn't matter how many times I tell you, you just don't get it. It's none of your damn business. If you needed to know somebody would tell you but you don't and you should be thankful for that." A much needed haste gripped Lucas's words. He was tried of answering these questions, he was tired of thinking about the answers, and he was tired of covering up his parents mistakes.

As Nathan stood in contemplation Lucas hopped back in the car, throwing his brother's books and binders out the window. "Why don't you try taking the bus?" Before Nathan could get a word in the tires spun against the dirt, effectively surrounding him in a pool of dust as he watched Lucas drive away.

* * *

Her hazel eyes glistened as she took in the oddly familiar sight before her. Students were scattered about the campus, hidden behind the greatly sought after protection of friends. It all resembled some sick sense of natural selection and just by the quick glance she allowed herself it was more than obvious who sat at the top. She could pick out the very girl she had been in California, and she found it strangely comforting that that particular spot was already taken. It was a gift of freedom and control that she had never known, and while she embraced that gift it seemed a bittersweet blessing. She leaned back into the front seat of her car, a careless but anxious smile rising to her perfectly glossed lips. 

Brooke rose from her seat and unlatched the door, taking her first steps at a new life and reputation. This was the moment and in some ways she had been looking forward to it her entire life, but it also sent a trail of harbored tremors down her spine and gave the world around her a black and white spin.

High school wasn't about being real, or even being yourself, it was about being a part of something and emotions and insecurities didn't fit too nicely into that scheme. Once they were uncovered they framed you, and made you a target for scrutiny but as far as she were concerned she had nothing to hide and the simple fact was more comforting than she could have imagined. Her past was hers alone and no matter how far they dug into her they couldn't uncover her secrets.

She glided with confidence through the courtyard, eyeing several students who seemed to sequester a hostile stare from her. It wasn't until she felt hot breath against her neck that her poise was broken. Brooke quickly snapped her head around, nearly falling into the body that stood before her. As soon as their eye's met she could see something different about him, but it didn't surprise her.

"Trying on a new look?" He asked, as his eyes traced the curve of her hips, squeezed into skin tight jeans, and the low cut top thatcaught his intense stare, surely different than the loosely fit jeans and turtleneck sweater he remembered.

"Seeing as I've known you just about two days I'd say you don't know my old look, so why do you get to say this is new?"

He noticed the bite to her words, and nearly saw of reflection of himself from the other night. It allowed him to read her actions perfectly and judge from the hostility that it was not arrogance, nor confidence but rather a weak spot. Lucas nearly laughed at the realization, as he considered their similarities but instead he offered her his patented smirk.

"You look good. I'll see you around." He spoke quickly but his words hung in the air even as he walked past her, the dryness of his voice clung to the humidity and she felt a burning in her skin and a desire in her chest.

* * *

Brooke managed her way through the hordes of students, keeping an eye out for friendly faces. She recognized a few people from the party but with her mind still wrapped up in her early morning encounter she chose not to stop and talk, if only for appearances. However the sight of Haley's warm but shy gaze beckoned her. 

"Hey." Haley managed as she fumbled with the stack of books she was carrying. Brooke rolled her eyes in a friendly gesture and took the top two books from Haley.

"Over achiever," she coughed out, electing an elbow jab from Haley.

"I prefer the term focused student," Haley replied smoothly, finding the company of Brooke a welcome distraction to her normally bland and predictable school day. "How's your first day been going?"

Brooke sighed dramatically and plopped down at one of the picnic benches, Haley followed suit. "Well the class, homework part is kind of sucky, but I did happen to see that guy again. I saw him last night too, actually, after you left, and we sort of got in a fight, and I think this morning we might have gotten into another one, I'm not really sure but…" Brooke stopped mid sentence. "Rambling?" She questioned as Haley nodded. "You'll get used to it."

"So what is this guy's name?"

"Lucas something, I don't know, he's blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous body."

Haley paled slightly, but caught herself and managed to stifle a laugh. "Lucas Scott? As in the school and town's infamous bad boy? I would highly suggest you back out of that one as soon as possible."

Brooke's expression sobered, "What?" She questioned, thinking she must have heard wrong. It was true that she hadn't made a firm judgment of who he was and how he fit into the petty hierarchy of high school but she wasn't expecting this.

Haley genuinely felt sorry for Brooke. Lucas wasn't the relationship type but somehow or another he always managed to trick girls into thinking he was, only to demolish their hope in men and love. He was a heart breaker and any and every girl he had been with ended up walking away in tears. She had pegged Brooke as much more self assured, much too independent, and much too smart to fall for Lucas's games but her new friend appeared to have fallen victim to his handsome face and tortured heart. She just hoped she could set everything straight and lead Brooke to the realization that Lucas was not a genuine character, he couldn't be.

"He's the eye of affection Brooke. There are two types of girls in this school. Type one has been with Lucas and he's hurt them, type two are the girls waiting in line for that heartbreak. He's not the guy you think."

Brooke's smile had been rudely overturned. She didn't get fooled, she didn't fall for pick up lines and acts that guys concocted in the hopes of a one night stand. If anything she was the one that initiated and it bothered her that one of her first relationships in this new town had been a fake, and that she had been played. All this time she had been thinking she had power, and she was in control, but she was wrong. Lucas had already manipulated her and she was already being clumped into a group of girls that she was nothing like.

Her dark hair caught the wind and as she repositioned her head to tie it back she caught sight of his golden hair. His salacious blue eyes caught the sunlight as he lifted his head from the ground. Brooke watched the quick grin position itself on his face as his eyes met hers. She did not return the smile, instead she dropped her bag next to Haley and angrily stomped off towards him.

He watched as madness and anger clouded her vision. He had wondered how long it would take. How long she would last, before succumbing to the flawless reputation he had gathered. It was flawless in the sense that there was no room for questioning. They saw him as arrogant, and cocky and selfish and that left no room for the pain he nourished daily. They would never see it, because he would never let them.

She stopped within about five feet of him and raised her hands in applause, clapping loudly, drawing the attention of most of the student body. She was going to make him regret this.

"So, what's the count up to now Lucas? One hundred, two hundred, how many girls in this school have you fucked over?" Her voice carried over the courtyard, and she could nearly feel the heads turn, but her gaze remained locked on his eyes, the same eyes that have deceived her into thinking he was something more.

He smiled, "How many girls have I fucked, or how many girls have I fucked over? If you're really interested I'm sure you can take a survey and find out, but I don't keep a record, that would be redundant."

"Redundant huh? Kind of like your act. You'd think for someone with so much charm you could think up something new. Test out your acting skills , but then what do I know I'm just the new girl who is not about to be screwed over by some jackass who is so pathetic he has to trick girl's into sleeping with him. I mean what's the matter you can't actually hold down a relationship? Is it the fact that after you get them in bed they realize your nothing special, or maybe it's the self pity that drives them away. Honestly, brooding on the beach, its so cliché. I would have thought you could think up something better."

She felt that freedom soaking into her body; she would never have pulled a stunt like that back in California. That wasn't who she was supposed to be but the new Brooke was different and the rant was her coming out, it was entirely liberating and she loved the rush. The chatter of the students hadn't yet picked back up, they awaited Lucas's answer as did Brooke. She couldn't imagine what he was going to say but truthfully she had expected him to forfeit, but the devilish look on his face suggested otherwise.

"Well, you got one thing right, you are the new girl and along with your lack of clothing, you also have a lack of knowledge. What makes you think my acts aren't original, what makes you think you weren't some type of experiment or dare that the boy's set up and since you've never had the pleasure of having me in the sack what makes you think my skills would turn girls away? You're just some prissy know it all who fell for an act and you're mad because of it. Next week it will be somebody else, the question is are you going to continue to waste your time embarrassing yourself or go lick your wounds and leave me the fuck alone."

Brooke had never been one to crumble under pressure, her tongue was sharp and even though it was slightly out of practice she could have sent an equally painful dissection right back, but she didn't. Instead she felt tears flooding her eyes and slipping silently over mascara and eyeliner, but she continued to stare at him. By then the attention had turned away from the two of them but they remained scowling at each other, even as Brooke furiously wiped her eyes, smearing her eye make up even further.

For a second she saw his expression soften and she lunged at him, the palm of her hand making firm contact with his face. His head shot to the right as her hand fell back down to her side.

Haley jumped up from her seat, barreling towards Brooke as she watched Lucas consider his options. She winced as she watched Lucas grab at Brooke's arm, pulling her towards him and into the classroom that remained open to their right.

* * *

_-So this chapter sort of puts a spin on things, they will eventually work themselves out..._


	5. Bound to Happen

**Author's Note: **So its been a while, I apologize for the time its taken me to get this up. Things have been hectic lately, and I can't really say when my next update will be. Either way thank you all for your support, it really means a lot that some of you guys are so interested in this story, your reviews give me the inspiration I need to continue! I don't know that I'm entirely happy with this chapter but I hope you will all enjoy it and I would love to hear what you guys think about it. Flashbacks are in Italics and please review!

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Chapter 5 (Bound to Happen)

He had lost control, they both knew. His hands pressed into her skin pushing her back into the wall, cornering her in the dark, empty room that only added to her horror. Fear consumed her every thought as she considered the anger erupting from his body. Perhaps she should have realized his likelihood to reciprocate the violence she had shown him, but she hadn't been thinking at the time, just as Lucas didn't appear to be either. He was overcome with emotions that clouded his mind and didn't allow him a chance at reasonable thought. He could feel the fury rising in his body and he didn't doubt that his face had swelled to a bright red in expression of that frustration.

Lucas had to be angry; he had to embody something so full of rage or he would crumble under the vulnerability that continued to attack him, no matter how hard he continued to fight against it. He could visualize his father's backhand swing crashing against his face, leaving marks much more severe than Brooke had. He was supposed to be over that, it was in the past but yet he couldn't go a single day without one haunting reminder of his childhood, and it was getting to be more than he could handle. That much was more than apparent.

Lucas studied her face as he continued to press her into the wall, almost finding pleasure in the pain that draped over her own penetrating stare. He noticed the spark that kept her gaze sharp, and the way it contrasted against the tears that continued to stream over her eyelids and down her face. He would not falter. What gave her the right to hit him? She had this coming, she deserved this. His rage attempted to convince him that taking his aggressions out on her was fair, and right, but he knew that there was no amount of anger that would ever allow him to see beating her as any type of justice.

A lone tear slipped down her face and settled itself on his forearm and he felt his body soften. The distinct change didn't go unnoticed by Brooke either. She felt his grasp on her shoulders loosen and she closed her eyes in rejoice of his relenting. Her tear drop appeared to have quite literally distinguished his fire and his burning desire to impart harm on her. The peace however was short lived as seconds later a swift breeze caught her face and his fist connected with the wall that sat inches to the right of her head.

His face contorted in pain as he backed away from her, trying to control his urge to groan in agony, he had scared her enough. Instead he bit down on his lip to the point of bleeding and found relief in the opposing pain of his mouth.

Brooke stood fascinated watching his transition inside of the breakdown he appeared to be having. Her body continued to tremble in fear but she did not acknowledge it, instead she found her feet treading towards him and into yet another confrontation. She was drawn to him for reasons she couldn't explain nor could she comprehend but she didn't question them.

He stood firmly against the wall trying to keep himself together, this was too much and he just needed to get out of there as fast as he could, but like always she seemed to be within his path of escape.

He had expected her to create as much distance between the two of them as she could. He had been prepared for that, but not this. It didn't make sense to him what she was doing, why she was even in arms reach of him after he had grabbed her the way he did. Something was off about that whole situation and he hadn't a clue how to find out what it was. Lucas viewed humans in general as predictable. They followed patterns, the conformed to an identity and their actions always matched that but this didn't. He couldn't understand why she hadn't exited the classroom at her first chance, and he didn't understand why she had so suddenly lost that fiery temper. Mostly he just didn't understand why she had chosen to trust him.

She pulled at his hand, and held it gingerly in her grasp, slightly in awe of the way he had submitted to her in that moment. Her small fingers pried at his and unraveled his balled fist that appeared red and took on a heated pulse of its own. His eyes closed in relief of the effect her cold hands seemed to be having on his pained knuckles. His façade was broken in that moment and he realized it, just the same way he realized he no longer owned the strength to build it back up. She had taken a hold on him, and along with the anger and hatred he tried to associate with her there was something else that evaded him that made this different, that made her different.

"You should probably get this looked at," she whispered to him, almost as though she was attempting to soothe a wild animal, fearful that anything loud or demanding might off set his calm state.

Brooke didn't bother to wait for a response, with all the solitude seeking she had seen him go through she knew her company would do little to suffice what he was going through. She let his hand drop from her grasp and walked briskly away from him and towards the door. She heard the faint sounds of _sorry_ but didn't reply. It wasn't okay, and she had nothing to say or do that would serve any purpose.

_

* * *

_

_Quickly he maneuvered the laces of his sneakers into a tight loop, pausing for a brief moment as he checked the clock; it looked like he would make it there in plenty of time. Lucas sat up form his bed and turned towards the door, grimacing at the sight in front of him. His hopes for making a clean escape gone he quickly scanned the room taking in his proximity to the furniture as his feet treaded slowly backwards._

_His father's intense glare rested in the depths of his eyes but Lucas' attention was elsewhere. He was more interested in the long strap of leather that curled around his father's fist. The stunning array of "tools" his father used on him always managed to surprise him. It was almost as though the nights were some sort of ceremonial act, like a christening of belts. He had begun to catalog them in his mind, memorizing the way they felt against his skin and the amount of time he would take to heal. He could even judge his father's mood by the type of belt that dangled from the man's threatening grasp. _

_On that particular night his gaze tore at the sight of a dark brown braided leather belt, which would soon serve the purpose of his attacker. It was a weapon that burned more than it sliced, but still managed to do a good job in evoking enough pain to release his tears._

_As the large man neared him the stench of booze became more apparent which in turn caused Lucas' feet to carry him faster backwards. However his father's steps mirrored his own and before he knew it his back made contact with the wall. Every night he carried this naïve fantasy that his dad would decide against it, and take everything back but as soon as his back had collided with the wall all hopes of that fantasy coming true vanished. He was going to have to endure this._

_The rough hand of his father made contact with his face and the strong backhanded swing sent Lucas crashing against the wall. His ribs made firm contact with the plaster and he stifled back a cry. From experience he tell something was broken._

_"Damn it Lucas!"_

_The belt rained hard across his fragile body slicing through the thin cotton fabric of his shorts. He cried out in agony as the leather made firm contact with skin, releasing a trail of blood that flowed just as freely as his tears._

_"How could you have been so fucking stupid?"_

_The weapon nipped down at his uncovered legs, Lucas squirmed, pulling his knees to his chest, curling into a helpless ball that offered him little protection against the wrath of his father. He fought to control his sobs not wishing to further agitate the man that stood before him. Lucas tried to put himself in another place, to ignore the fear and pain and consider something less traumatic. The harsh leather snapped once more along his calves, leaving welts that stung his lightly tanned skin._

_Before the scene would have been littered with Lucas' pleas for the older man to stop or his desperate attempts to escape the room and the night but now he just accepted it. It was a part of his life and his family and there was nothing he could do to stop it. His eyes would close and he would lay helpless in obvious submission waiting for it to end. _

_By the reduced pressure of his father's torture he could tell the older man was getting bored. Characteristically the abuse didn't last for long, it was almost like a chore and his father sometimes grew tired before he was done. It was up to Lucas to hide the bruises and swallow his secrets. While it would have been very possible for the young boy to attract assistance and attention for his abuse he didn't. He couldn't, and he recognized that very fact the first time it had happened. He was bound to his family from his own mistakes and there truly was no escape._

_It ended with a swift kick in his abdomen and as he struggled to gain control over his disrupted breathing he heard the heavy steps of his father walking straight out of his room and into that of his mother._

_

* * *

_

_Her small form rested on top of the turtle shaped rock they had dubbed their meeting place. The slow summer evenings had gave way to a new tradition and from then on every Sunday night they would go down by the creek, that divided the upper and lower divisions of town, and skip stones across the way Haley's father had taught them._

_The nights themselves were considerably uncharacteristic, refusing to follow any steady pattern. Sometimes the nights were upbeat giving an understandable glow to both children as they would laugh and smile forgetting the dark shadow that loomed over. But then there were the quiet nights when no pleasantries were exchanged, when they simply enjoyed one another's company. It was about knowing there was someone to count on who would be there for the simple reason that they wanted to. The two friends had never identified their relationship, they didn't smile and wave frantically at one another during their meetings, and there we no extravagant hugs when they greeted each other after prolonged absences. They understood each other and that was enough._

_Haley glanced at the clunky pink watch that surrounded her wrist. He was already a half an hour late, the simple fact brought tears to her eyes as she recounted all the other times he had been late. It wasn't because he had forgotten, and it certainly wasn't because he felt like he could keep her waiting, the real reason was out of his control and even though at times he felt it wasn't she knew otherwise._

_She sighed heavily trying to contain her emotions. Her dark chocolate eyes caught sight of the beginning of a sunset. The sun sat deep in the mountains, light sneaking its way though the valleys reminding her to stay hopeful and help pass the time as she admired the beauty and pure simplicity of it all. He had told her to stay put on such nights and she didn't question his judgment._

_The soft crunching of gravel alerted her as to his presence but she didn't turn to face him. He wouldn't have wanted her to. Slowly he made his way towards her trying to hide the persistent drag of his left ankle. Lucas hoisted himself up on the rock, setting a foot distance between himself and Haley. His small mouth forced back a whimper as his bottom accustomed itself to the sharp edges of granite that unknowingly dug into the welts he had acquired minutes beforehand. His hands moved towards the collection of rocks marveling at the way the smooth, cool edges felt in his hand. His fingers traced the edges before he flicked his wrist sending the small stone jumping across the current and finally to the opposite bank._

_He stopped for a moment and considered his action, realizing that he did in fact have the power to move others, to an essential safety that sat protected from him. As the wind picked up Haley's light blonde hair blew wildly around her face causing a purely childish excitement to form on her face. Her happiness and blithe demeanor during that moment only reminded him of the perfect childhood he had stolen her from._

* * *

She exited the building composed with a knowing smile and an extra step of confidence. Haley immediately stood from the bench, the terrified seed in her gut quickly vanishing as Brooke appeared unharmed and extraordinarily composed.

In truth the outside appearance was a fake. Brooke's sanity had been dragged through the motions all too many times in just one single day, and her emotions threatened to burst constantly. She was on high alert but the well trained façade she wore smoothed over the incredibly confused and vulnerable girl that lay hidden underneath. It wasn't so much as her choice but more instinctual, which was perhaps why the tears that had left her eyes minutes beforehand had her head spinning in a world of confusion.

Once again Lucas had managed to unsettle her and while her emotions appeared to have broken through quite a bit he remained unmoving. He didn't falter and she began to wonder what exactly it was that had build that protective outer shell that not only kept him hidden, but also separated from everybody else.

"Are you okay?" Haley asked, diligently leading Brooke back to the table the two had occupied beforehand.

"Yeah," she merely managed, the word nearly taking the form of a question.

"What happened in there?"

Brooke lifted her shoulders into a light shrug, "Honestly I really can't say, it was kind of like when I first met him on the beach. I can tell there's so much there and he gives me this tiny little glimpse and that's it, and then I wind up even more confused but yet still slightly interested." Brooke turned towards Haley's pity ridden expression. "God, what did I get myself into?" She said as she sighed in frustration.

She did consider one thing however. As her first day at a new school and really a new life she had been more herself than ever before. Her actions had been reckless and revealing, but powerful and strong. If she could not be happy with the way the situation with Lucas had turned out at least she could be pleased with herself. Certainly she had not hoped to call fall attention to her own embarrassment but it let people know she didn't back down and she wasn't the perfect, mild mannered brunette from California that could do not wrong. It made her feel more alive; he made her feel more alive.

"Which one of the two types are you?"

Haley's expression highlighted her obvious face sign of confusion; she was stalling. "What do you mean?"

"I mean before, you said there are two types of girls here, girls that have been with Lucas and girls that want to, which of the two are you?" Irritability surrounded her words; she was tired of playing games with everyone. Even Haley, who was sometimes painfully straightforward, appeared to be giving her the run around and she was fed up.

Haley hesitated before answering, considering her options. "Neither, Lucas and I used to be really close when we were younger. So I guess it's sort of unspoken that our relationship would always remain strictly platonic. I see Lucas as an old friend and I imagine I'll always see him that way."

"So then why all the bashing before? If you guys were such good friends why would you want to speak so negatively of him?"

"Because that's just it, we _were_ good friends, we aren't anymore. He's not the same boy that I spent hours with skipping stones across the creek and he's never going to be. People change and it's only a waste of my time and energy to hold out for the hope that maybe someday he'll change back."

"Maybe he just needs someone to believe he can be that guy again."

Haley studied Brooke for a moment before collecting her books from the table, it was in her nature to get defensive over talk about Lucas and she didn't need him ruining any more of her chances at finally having friends. She figured it best if she made her statement and left. "You can believe all you want but that doesn't mean anything. Lucas' not coming back, I've learned to except that and let me say its probably better if you do the same."

Brooke watched as Haley clumsily strutted away from her. Clearly she had picked the two most complicated people to become friends with and the lack of clarity between both of those relationships only served the purpose of making her question the personal goals she had set forth. Life back in California had been simple; the people she associated herself with had two clear cut sides. One for the multitude and one for themselves but Haley and Lucas were so multicolored that even the masks they wore seemed to change by the minute.

Lucas made his way out to the parking lot trying to ignore the sets of eyes that appeared glued to his body. He could never be sure as to the time his life had transformed into some never ending teen soap opera but the dramatic happenings of his school life, at least, always gathered public scrutiny by his peers. His large hangs raked through his hair and over his tired face; he tried to ignore the throbbing pain that continued to beat off his right hand. He really just wanted peace, peace in his school life, in his home life, but mostly in his mind. He envied the poor fool that thought breaking up with his girlfriend of two months was heart breaking or the honors student that cried over a B+. If only life were so simple.


	6. Strange Condition

**Author's Note: **I can't really give a valid excuse for how long its been since I've updated, I am thankful, however for everyone that has reviewed and shown concern as to the future of this fic. I will continue to write it, but I just have to fit it into my schedule which is proving difficult, that along with my near change of heart about the entire story is the only excuse I can give for this delayed update. I try to give you guys writing that is to the best of my ability and while I feel this chapter is slightly lacking in eloquence and maybe even logic I thought I'd take the chance with it and see what you guys think. 

As always thanks for reading and please review!

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Chapter 6 (Strange Condition)

Haley had walked all the way to the edge of campus, to the parking lot, only to realize she did not in fact have a car and the school day was only half over. She hated the way after so many years the long painful story of her first and only best friend always got in the way of the distinctly different life she had tried so hard to follow. It had been so arduous to forget about him and let him go and she didn't need the constant reminders of what she had lost, but really she just couldn't stand to sit back and watch him let someone else in when he had so forcefully pushed her away.

"Are you okay?"

Her eyes immediately looked for an escape; she could not face him right now. She sucked back in the shaky sigh she was about to release and replied.

"I'm fine."

"Are you planning on going somewhere?" He gestured to the lines of cars occupying their current surroundings.

"No," she answered shyly, a nervous pace settling in on her voice, "I just started walking and ended up here, I should probably get back."

Lucas nodded respectfully understanding full well her reaction. It had been a while since a confrontation like this.

As she started to walk away from him she couldn't help but notice the cowardice that collected in her thoughts. There had been a time when they could talk about everything and now she regarded him as a distant stranger who could not be trusted. She was punishing him for pushing her away when she knew it had been one of the hardest, most selfless things he could have done. Considering this she stopped and turned back around to face him.

"What are you doing with Brooke?" She called out to him, very much aware of the vulnerability that still shaped his expression.

"I'll let you know as soon as I do." He winked back at her trying to shield his fragile state, hoping she would take his statement as suggestive and indifferent; he should have known better. She read him in ways that no one else could, and that was a talent that hadn't diminished over the years.

"For both of your sakes I hope you find out soon. Don't mess with her either," catching the smirk rising on his face she stepped closer to him. Her voice lowered and she spoke again, "Just because you're not happy doesn't give you the right to make others share your misery."

Lucas rolled his eyes in annoyance but was soon corrected by Haley who laid her hand across his chest, in a manner she had perfected over the years. It wasn't violent, she knew better, but all the same it was firm and telling. It brought her past the sly, perfected smirk and into the rapid pounding of his heart, the one symptom of truth he could not hide.

"Don't pull this crap with me, and don't mess with her." Her eyes bore into his for a swift moment and she remembered how telling they were. They had been the windows to his soul, and she remembered how vibrant and expressive they used to be; it didn't surprise her that a dull gray had clouded over but perhaps it should have. Lucas quickly broke the contact as she had expected.

"You should probably get back to class; the bell's going to ring soon."

She shrugged, "I'll stand here forever if it's to protect a friend."

"What if that's not enough?"

"Then I guess I lost him again."

* * *

His agile body quickly maneuvered through the frame of the front doorway, sufficing his growing need for fresh air, which ironically enough he would soon distinguish without second thought. Smoking hadn't been the product of peer pressure or a desire to _look cool_, it was more of a haunting of sorts. For months his dreams overflowed with cigarettes and smoke, relieving him from the ritual nightmares of his childhood. At first he saw it as nothing more than a dream, something completely and utterly useless that only stole glimpses into things he had previously seen in his life, whether it had been a public service announcement involving the dangers of smoking or the fact that he had walked past one too many ash trays in one day. 

Over time, however, he began to discern that in each and every dream that involved this widely unhealthy habit he would wake up with an unfamiliar ease evident in his attitude, as if the weight that sat heavily on his shoulders shifted and allowed him a second at peace. It hadn't been difficult to get his hand on a pack of smokes and after his first cigarette he fell into a routine. Every afternoon upon returning home from school he would light up and bask in the task of slowly, deliberately killing himself.

Lucas's muscular build collapsed to the front steps of his house, as his tired body finally gave in. There was no doubt that life had been hard, and that it still continued to test him but this fatigue wasn't a matter of going through the motions of a school day. Pain sat heavily in his gut, weighing him down and bringing exhaustion to his mind and body, it was inescapable and as the smoke filled his lungs he only wished to receive its effect sooner. It wasn't quite a matter of pondering suicide; he would have never drawn up plans for a deliberate killing of himself but at the same time he hoped for some life changing event to take him under its wing. He wanted a chance to start over, and whether that be through the realization of life's frailty by a car accident or lung cancer it didn't quite matter. He needed things put into perspective for himself and his family and he was growing ever so tired of the waiting game.

The quiet friction of rubber against asphalt shifted his attention to the road in front of him as he spotted a white Chevy puttering its way down the street. A quick smile graced his face as he caught sight of the driver, being a very frustrated Brooke.

Her hands slammed down on the steering wheel as swear words emanated from her mouth. So much for the _gift_ her father had presented her with that morning. He had never had a problem with throwing money at her, only it appeared now that the money _wasted_ back in California was beginning to take a toll on his previously bottomless wallet. Realizing her helplessness she exited the car and slammed the door after carefully grabbing her purse and backpack.

"Car trouble?" He taunted.

Despite her intentions not to smile she couldn't help herself, fate certainly had a way of bringing them together.

"It would appear so. Ironic that is craps out in front of your house, huh?" He merely smiled in response, as he approached the car. His hands quickly maneuvered over the hood of the car as he propped it up with the latch.

"Damn, are your parents trying to kill you with this thing, or did you trade your bicycle in for it?" He muttered starring into the car.

"More like a guilt gift from daddy," she managed sarcastically before retorting to his _trying to kill you_ suggestion. "As far as the car being dangerous, I doubt it's any worse than that piece of tar hanging from your mouth."

Lucas shrugged, he didn't defend his habit, or even condone it, he just _did_ it. "Have you ever tried?"

Sucking in a breathe she pursed her lips, giving her dimples a chance to shine. "I've experimented just like everyone else but I was smart enough to stop before I got addicted."

"Yeah, you'd think after all those classes in middle school to stay drug free I'd not continue to be such an idiot, but I guess for me it just wasn't enough, too stubborn or something."

His self deprivation was enough to soften her, as she reminded herself of the very human qualities he had let slip through in the classroom. Brooke remained quiet before cautiously walking to the front steps of the house Lucas had been occupying beforehand; he quickly followed taking a seat next to her.

"My mom died of breast cancer last year and I know it's not really the same but just the idea of putting myself at any sort of extra risk for an illness like that seemed terrifying. I guess she's just an extra reminder for me in that respect," she dropped the serious tone, turning to face him, "otherwise I'd probably be an idiot just like you."

He had never been good with responding to things like that, it was not a common situation he had to encounter. People rarely entrusted any information with him, which was primarily the way he wanted it, but it left him incapable of responding to or even understanding sincerity. Lucas pulled the cigarette from his mouth, bringing it to eye level.

"It's amazing the impact parents have on their children, and it's like we don't get to choose what kind of effect its going to be." He dropped the cigarette on the porch, smearing it against the cement with his foot.

"I don't think that's necessarily true. It's kind of like it didn't matter that she died or why she died I could have seen smoking as an outlet or something, but because of the way I look at things I saw it more as a warning. I think it depends on the child."

He lowered his head, considering her words for a moment; Lucas then rose to his feet and stood in front of her, offering a hand which she graciously accepted. "You want a ride?" He asked, motioning towards his truck. She nodded, following closely behind him.

She watched as he pulled the passenger door open for her, the white bandage on his hand catching her eye for the first time. "How's the hand?"

"Fine." He stated tersely assuring her the easygoing, honest talk had come to an end. He was beginning to have to censor himself around her as he was coming across as genuinely truthful and the simple idea that he still owned the capabilities to be that real with someone scared him.

* * *

After having coaxing a ride from an acquaintance Haley had made her way home. She had immediately pulled out the flowery journal she had kept since grade school, its pages littered with memories she had chosen to hold onto. Flipping through the pages she watched the transition of her thoughts and the darkness that had begun to encompass them. Letting out yet another deep sigh, along with a quiet yawn she pulled a pen from her desk and flopped on her bed with her journal planted squarely in front of her. 

**Starring at the clumsy formation of my own handwriting is oddly comforting. I didn't really start this whole diary as some type of self assessment, its more because I like treading through a selective past, watching the sometimes careful looping of my print enveloping a pristinely white sheet of paper. I guess maybe I like to know that there really is more going on inside of me than what little I share with the world, it makes this seem like I have some control, and some place here, even if its not the place I want.**

**I don't normally rant about people in here but after all that happened today it seems appropriate. Brooke is, in short, perfect. She's beautiful, she's graceful, confident… all the things I lack. It's like I'm sitting here watching this miracle unfold that I didn't have the strength to do. Lucas changed, he became someone I didn't know and at times I didn't want to, but then every March 15th I could count on the orange and pink pansies taped to the front door with a Happy Birthday scrawled across a note in his chicken-scratch cursive. And every superior glare I received in the hallway from his buddies fueled me to become even more enraged with his ignorant demeanor but the sorrow in his expression when we met eyes acted as a suitable apology so no matter how hard I tried I couldn't hate him, and I couldn't give up on him. But at the same time that didn't matter, I couldn't hold his interest, or his heart and then here comes Brooke making an immediate connection with him after having known him for a day. I realize that friendship can't always contend with the bonds of attraction and love but, I guess I thought what we had was lasting, and even if it hasn't been perfect or normal in any way I always expected him to turn to me, I don't know, maybe that's stupid.**

**I worry for them both. She has no idea what she's getting into and he hasn't confronted his childhood enough to trust someone else with it, and in time she's going to want that. It's not even so much that I'm angry at Brooke, I hope she can bring him back, I'm angry at myself for not owning the ability to do that, and for letting another person enter this cruelly painful situation. **

* * *

Nathan kicked lightly at the rock that stood before him, as his head bent down starring at the gravel. This wasn't the first time Lucas had _forgotten_ to pick him up from school. His older brother's antics had always managed to ruin some aspect of his life, whether it was the continued and full attention Lucas garnered from their parents or the provisions set forth that wouldn't allow the family to actually be a _real life family_. None of those things ever got Lucas punished, but forgetting his younger brother at school, making him walk halfway there in the morning was sure to send the older boy into some sort of scuffle with his parents, hopefully one that would keep him out of the spot light for once. 

Deciding to suspend his trip home Nathan took a turn and headed towards his mother's Café to flaunt his science test, which he held proudly in his grasp. School hadn't always been his first priority, he found a great deal of athletic talent within himself but his father had never encouraged that type of activity. He was driven by parental praise and while capable both academically and athletically he chose the first of the two.

School became one of the many ways he plotted to _beat_ Lucas. Physically it was no contest; Nathan was the younger of the two and had not gotten the practice Lucas did from athletics and school yard battles. However Lucas's lack of motivation in school was what gave Nathan the upper hand; the older boy most likely just as capable chose to instead read literature not assigned by his teachers and simply skate through school managing to keep his grades above failing. For Lucas it was about survival, while Nathan strove for excellence; perhaps it takes an untested individual to believe in the prospect of perfection and thusly the concept of excellence.

Nathan brought his head up to meet the sight of his brother's familiar black truck coming towards him; smirking to himself he stepped from the sidewalk and onto the street directly in front of his brother. The sure stupidity of his actions seemed not to deter him from his objective, being for once to get Lucas to yield to him and to be the primary voice in one of Lucas's decisions.

Inside of the truck the rough hum of the engine remained the only noise brave enough to permeate the silence. Brooke had been focusing on the passing houses and the new surroundings she had been forced into, while Lucas simply remained focused on the task before him, driving. He had noticed Nathan's lanky form stepping onto the pavement the second the sole of his shoe touched asphalt, but in no way did that compel him to stop. The standoffs between the brothers always ended the same way, with Lucas as the victor. Nathan was the only family member he had that allowed him complete control and he wasn't about to let that domination slip through his fingers.

Lucas's foot remained intact with the accelerator as the truck neared Nathan. Brooke bringing her focus back to the road in front of them instantly spotted Nathan, and her first reaction was to shout.

"Lucas Stop!" The shrill call slipped from her mouth as she estimated the risk of Lucas's unpredictability. She didn't know if it involved the maiming of children but the fact that she had to question that suggested she needed to take action. After getting no response from Lucas she took hold of the steering wheel sliding her legs across to push on the brake petal.

"What the fuck!" Was his rashly inappropriate response as the truck skidded to a halt nearly finding its way into an Ash Tree that sat before them. His face burned with frustration as she threw her hands up in the air, clearly expressing the same type of anger. He merely shook his head before exiting the truck and meeting Nathan on the pavement. Grabbing the younger boy by the shirt he grimaced.

"Are you fucking stupid? Normally people don't step in front of moving vehicles!" Lucas didn't give the Nathan a chance to respond before shoving him in the direction of the truck. "It doesn't even matter," he huffed, "get in the back and don't say anything."

Nathan, however, didn't obey. "Were actually going to hit me?"

Lucas didn't dignify his question with a suitable response, "What are you doing out here anyways, home's back the other way?"

"Mom's Café."

"You know she doesn't want you going over there during the day, she has to work, there's no time for you to chit chat about your happy fucking day at school. Get in the back of the truck or you can walk home." Lucas spoke firmly, making his way back to the truck.

"You can drop me off at the Café."

Lucas swung around, facing his younger brother. His impatience was substantial as his entire form became rigid. Brooke, watching in quiet fascination from the truck watched him stiffen; worrying for the young boy in the road she opened the truck door calling both boys' attention. Lucas ignored her, still glaring at his younger brother.

"Get in the truck." Fury surrounded his words as his threatening gaze loomed over Nathan, who finally gave in. Muttering obscenities at his older brother, he climbed into the bed of the truck without another word.

Lucas then reentered the truck to find Brooke on her way out. "What are you doing?" He asked innocently but still with anger lingering in his voice.

"Look, obviously we don't really know each other and at this point I really don't feel comfortable driving in a car with you, or even in your company."

"Brooke, he's my brother, it's not like I was trying to kill him."

She scoffed, "You're not the one who hit the brakes so I honestly have no idea what you were planning on doing."

Realizing his helplessness with words he reached out to grab her arm to stop her. Brooke however, still tentative of him froze as soon as his contact became apparent to her. His thumb gently rubbed the skin of her arm, assuring her of his gentle intentions, "Just let me get you home."

She quickly became content with the soothing sensations his physical contact offered her and shifted her weight back towards the car, carefully watching the sincerity in his eyes. She nodded, still aware of his hand on her arm before shutting the car door and settling herself back into the seat. Brooke couldn't deny the newly found desire she had to be near him, she couldn't understand how he could do that to her, in one moment fill her with rage and the next an emotion she hadn't become too familiar with.

He smiled softly and removed his hand from her arm sliding the key into the ignition waiting for that familiar silence to surround them. By the time they reached Brooke's house most of the drama had settled within their minds, both trying to rationalize each others actions as well as their own. Brooke scooted off the seat, facing Lucas as she began to the door.

"Thanks," she whispered softly through the crack of metal before completely shutting the door.

Lucas watched her enter the house, then turning his attention to the boy in the back seat. "You alright back there?"

A muffled _yes_ acted as his reply, which in this case seemed to be all he could ask for, standing in the way of his brother's perfection and all.


	7. Seeing Through You

**AN: And its finally done. Just want to thank you all for reviews and PM's and what not. And I hope you'll continue to read and enjoy. This particular chapter may not seem too incredibly significant but it is. A little bit of a secret is unearthed, but the nature of the secret is not at all in the way you'd expect. Truthfully if I did not know the actual "secret" reading the beginning of it would make me stop reading, so please don't do that. Just remember I have a taste for the unoriginal and nothing about this story will be what you expect. However if you did happen to know or have a guess you could always PM me and I could further confuse you.**

**And finally I partly owe my delays for this chapter to Jackson Waters, their new CD is amazing and to a book-Sophie's Choice- that I just finished. I've never read a book that was so intelligent, its funny and its heartbreaking, loved it. We're probably not supposed to do this but I'm recommending both the book and the CD to my readers.**

* * *

Chapter 7 (Seeing Through You)

Exiting his pick up truck Lucas attempted to forget the previous day, or evening rather. Making mistakes was a large part of who he was and having someone as critical as Brooke seemed to expose vulnerability in those misdoings that he found most people weren't capable of identifying. She had quite literally set him off, which hadn't boded well for the conversation he had shared with his parents in reference to his failing relationship with Nathan.

Not having been able to resume the withdrawn but facetious conduct he was known for during family _talks_ he found that a margin of guilt seemed to have descended upon him. Normally he could laugh it off, the mere thought that Nathan even deserved the littlest bit of respect and explanation seemed absurd. Nathan had been sheltered from what the family had come from and Lucas figured it best to keep it that way. He didn't owe Nathan anything, having been brought through his childhood he figured he had already paid his dues; he'd already suffered and if Nathan was going to agonize over something as trivial as the past Lucas had no problem with letting him.

The setback was that Lucas's only line of defense was typically being a harsh and unforgiving older brother. In attempting to protect Nathan he wondered if he was in fact being selfish. For so long he had assured himself that not telling Nathan what had happened was for Nathan's good, he didn't want anyone else to have to share his burden, but in keeping it a secret he was starting to realize Nathan often felt removed from the family. Even if he found solitude was often a luxury for himself he understood that most people weren't as untrusting and dismissive as to enjoy it the way he did.

According to his parents Lucas was no longer in charge of getting Nathan to and from school. Karen would now sacrifice her work time to chauffer Nathan around because Lucas was simply _not mature enough, _as they had said to handle the responsibility. Lucas had grown somewhat accustomed to the label _failure, _as it had been his father's favorite insecurity to taunt him with as a child, but hearing it now and from his mother's mouth seemed even crueler than it had years before when it had shared the company of a belt.

Upon hearing his name shouted throughout the parking lot his thoughts dropped and he turned to greet the voice sizing him up with a face he did not remember. It was very possible that this stranger that stood before him even considered the two of them friends but Lucas didn't pay much heed to his _friends, _a bunch of oversexed jocks whose conversations flowed from what girl was the easiest to how drunk they had gotten the night before.

Instead of stopping to converse with the dark haired boy that stood before him Lucas offered a slight nod and continued walking towards the main building, only to be joined by the nameless face.

"So I saw you had it out with that girl the other day. What was that about?"

Lucas reminded himself that he was at school, with his peers, he needed to stay indifferent and cocky the way he always was.

"Why do you care?" He spoke swiftly his pace quickening trying to give his companion the hint to leave him alone.

"Why do you think I care? The way you have this school built around you it's a wonder paparazzi doesn't swarm your house. You made the choice to act like you do, and draw attention to yourself, you pay the price. This is high school; nobody cares about real issues, and you just so happen to be the very entertaining _fake issues_ that everybody's looking for."

Lucas stopped, for the first time looking the kid in front of him in the eye, trying to place his face with a name. He had been wrong in his previous identification, the dark haired boy was certainly not an oversexed jock, instead a slightly underdeveloped _geek._ The unforgiving nature of the word _geek_ struck Lucas. He knew as well as anybody how merciless labels were even when they were wrong.

The younger boy shook his head in disapproval as he watched Lucas struggle with what to say or do next. Instead of waiting he motioned towards his own group of friends. "I have to go."

"Hey wait! Do you even know me?" Lucas asked, in his attempt to figure out who exactly this kid was.

"Does anyone?" The boy bit his lip; his intent had not been to wield snide remarks. "My names Marvin, my friends call me Mouth."

Lucas managed a very slight but respectful smile, before walking away from the situation entirely. It was incredibly obvious to him that had such an encounter happened a few days earlier his submissively polite behavior would have been replaced with anger and intimidation. This was Brooke. Had she not been a new student he was fairly certain she would have rejected the thought of them ever having a civil conversation, at that point he wasn't sure if he was thankful for the fact or terrified by it. Hardly any time had passed and her effects on him had already been substantial.

* * *

Stumbling across the courtyard Haley's less than coordinated body maneuvered through her peers as she made her way over towards Brooke who sat alone at a lunch bench. The terms of their friendship were relatively unknown by both girls. They had gone from genuine acquaintances, to confidants, to indifferent argumentative friends. Nevertheless Haley ambled forward prepared to offer a somewhat distressed looking Brooke with honest support. 

Brooke sat slouched, with her hands propping up her head. She offered some form of speech resembling gibberish and routine mumbling which Haley assumed meant _hello._ Letting out an exasperated sigh Brooke ran her hands through her slightly disheveled hair half noticing it didn't own its normally lustrous texture and appearance. To say the least she'd had a rough night. In a matter of days she'd gone from traipsing around school with confidence and power to whatever it was exactly that her new surroundings had forced her to become. Reinventing herself was beginning to seem more and more impossible when all her instincts demanded that she shut down and leave trusting to the _happy _kids. It was simply just too hard.

Haley had already noted the less than put together appearance Brooke wore, something she could tell was not customary for the habitually high maintenance teenager that Brooke appeared to be. Wishing to break the course of silence that sat between them Haley stifled what she had hoped would be a joke.

"So, late night at Luke's?"

Brooke however, not so much in on the joke snapped back in response. She was beginning to think that perhaps tackling Haley and slamming her against the wall in some random, abandoned classroom was her next step. There was a fear of becoming him that tended to taunt her from time to time in the mere two days she'd known him, but the even greater insecurity lay in the fact that she might already be like him.

With her gaze sharp she glared at Haley, overshadowing sorrow with anger, just the way he had. Brooke's question rang out with an animosity she didn't normally allow. "Is there a reason you're hoity little ass came over here other than the fact that your own life is so boring you can't help but meddle in _my_ business?"

Haley however, having been privy to a very different, more secure, laid back side of Brooke she'd become acquainted with when the two girls first met decided against taking part in the verbal duel. Instead she found a smile creeping over her features as her hand reached towards the soda she had bought minutes beforehand. "Actually, I mostly just wanted to do this."

Before Brooke could react Haley popped the tab and sent the sticky mixture shooting into the air, coating both the girls in a less than flattering array of moisture. Releasing a mild shriek Brooke rose to her feet in defense, all the while grabbing her open water bottle. She smiled furtively at Haley before dowsing the blonde with her own beverage, finding satisfaction in the plain white t-shirt Haley had on. Both girls began to laugh, not at all concerned with their shamelessly soaked clothing.

* * *

With his body awkwardly slouched against the lunch bench he attempted to appear interested in the conversation, ever watchful for his cue to recite how terribly fucked up everything and everybody was. Lunchtime discussions would have posed a satisfying distraction had they not been utterly boring and degrading. Starring blankly out into the courtyard he distanced himself from his peers, giving up on his act for the time being. 

Lucas's disinterested stare was disrupted by the only two girls he'd allowed himself to see. His previously immovable frown uprooted as he watched Brooke and Haley shift into hysterics, the faint beginnings of a smile tugging on his lips.

He found that he admired that aspect of Haley, her ability to take someone from the depths of misery and show them laughter. She knew just exactly how to suspend those fleeting moments of joy, making them seem almost eternal even when the scorching flame of loss attempted to burn what little remained of bliss. He missed that laughter, but he'd given it up for her protection and he would not go back on that decision. It was one of the few things he could be proud of in his wildly disastrous life.

Brooke, however, caught a different side of his affections. He couldn't say that he knew her as well as he knew Haley but for once he could say that he wanted to get to know her. He wanted to take in her beauty and her tragedy but he couldn't bear the thought of burdening her with his own past. Especially when it wasn't so much as only his past, but also his future, and his present.

In the past couple of days he'd been hearing screaming. Whenever he turned up his music the roaring blare would muffle his surroundings and beyond the lyrics and the background he could hear a baby, wailing, wafting in despair. He'd nearly suffered a panic attack first period when the morning announcements came on. The silent classroom had only intensified the startled cries that echoed in the back of his mind.

Momentarily struck with an overwhelming feeling of desolation he turned his attention away from Brooke, renewing his efforts of holding it together.

* * *

Haley turned back towards Brooke, ringing out the water from her shirt she smiled lightly, taking a seat on the edge of the bench that had not been drenched by the uproar of lunch beverages. "I really just came to see if you were okay." Haley stated reaffirming her original intent. While the impromptu food fight had been fun she needed to confirm her loyalty and consideration for her new friend. "You just moved here and along with the fact that you picked an anomaly of a boy to get to know you've also had to endure my own confused jealousy. I'd say you're way past overdue for someone to talk to." 

"I just hadn't planned on this you know." Brooke paused as Haley nodded in response, urging her to continue. "In picturing starting over at a new school I wanted to do things right and it feels like I've been an absolute mess since I got here." Thinking over the past few days she knew she'd at least made a step in the right direction, a step away from who'd she been but that didn't necessarily mean she was pleased with what she was becoming.

Her face etched in honesty Haley attempted to reassure her distraught companion. "I actually kind of admire the way you've acted. And besides, it's too early for you to tell if this has all been a mistake. Give it time and maybe it'll pay off."

Brooke considered the friendly advice before approaching the underlying topic. "You know before, what you said about Lucas, how you don't think he can change? Do you really believe that?" Cringing at Haley's potential answer she realized the question wasn't just about Lucas, it was about her too. Could Haley really believe that she could change, but not Lucas?

"I guess I don't really know, I'm not even too sure if I want to know." Haley glanced at the lunch table Lucas occupied, pondering the disoriented expression he wore. She turned her total focus back to Brooke. "It's not really just Lucas that has to change. His lifestyle and what he is to this school and this town kind of restricts anything drastic." Maintaining a thoughtful tone she continued, "You can go on justifying his faults but that doesn't change the pain he's caused to both himself and other people. He's not as lucky as you; he wasn't given the gift of starting over."

Forcing a polite smile Brooke considered the information. The problem was she just couldn't believe it, or rather she wouldn't. She didn't doubt that reputation would linger but she was quite sure a person could change, especially when all the change required was the removing of a mask. Brooke redirected her attention to the lunch table Haley had been looking at, watching as Lucas kept pretending. She hadn't been privy to the expression Haley had caught; instead she looked on as Lucas tilted his head back in laughter, a laughter she knew to be fake.

When Lucas leveled his gaze his eyes met with hers. She watched as his buddies attempted to rough him up, to break his stare but her hold on him was more powerful, more comforting than what his friends could offer. Her gaze was captivating, and he couldn't turn away. This connection was real, so real that it frightened the both of them.

She noticed his sullen smirk and motioned toward her thoroughly wet t-shirt, confident in his appreciation of the fact. Instead of the macho gawking she had expected, but at the same time feared she was met with a rarity. The corners of his mouth rising, his grin real, he smiled at her. She almost considered nudging Haley, who'd found her way back to a Chemistry assignment, to prove to her his potential but his smile was for her, and for her only.

* * *

After finishing her last three classes of the day Brooke found her way to her locker; it surprised her how routine the school day had already become, that blind monotony followed her no matter what side of the states she occupied. Looking down the corridor she smiled slightly, her eyes finding just the thing that California didn't have. Pushing her books into the locker she approached him as he turned to leave. 

"Lucas, wait up." As he turned to greet her she couldn't help but wonder how many girls had chased after him the way she did, but then she considered how many of them had actually caught his attention the way she had. He stepped towards her as she neared him. "So, did you enjoy the show at lunch today?"

He responded with his patented smirk, all too aware of his surroundings. The two of them began to walk towards the parking lot. "I see you managed to find new cloths, much to my disappointment."

She ignored his attempt at a pout; it was easy to tell when he was being real with her. "Well, I guess you could say I have a knack for being persuasive. Somehow I managed to get my History Teacher to let me leave campus so I could change." She then responded to his questioning expression. "I threatened to report him. I could see how giving the new girl more attention may sometimes be appropriate but I'd say he was one step away from _standing at attention _with the way he was starring"

Lucas stifled a laugh, clearly impressed. "You're building quite the reputation." Beneath the good natured comment he stopped to wonder why exactly she seemed inclined to put on a show for their peers. Surely he had his reasons for his _show _but she had divulged very little of her own story to him that would satisfy the severity of her apparent façade.

"If I'm going to be seen with you," she gestured, leaning in towards him ever so slightly, "I'm going to need some sort of reputation and it appears as though slutty and outspoken fit the bill." She was surprised when he stopped leaving her to turn and face him. His face relaying something sincere, sharing a familiarity with the night they'd spent on the beach.

"I don't think you're slutty."

Mulling through her past conversations and even experiences with him she realized that she had given more than him. He knew more of her than she knew of him and being inferior was just not something she was comfortable with. The upper hand was what gave her confidence, and what would eventually allow her to open up. She needed to believe him before he could believe her. So instead of matching his intensity she made use of one of the most cliché phrases she knew, but slightly offsetting its meaning in a flirtatious matter. "You don't even know me."

Lucas accepted her response and continued towards the parking lot with her by his side. After they had walked a few feet he scoffed slightly. "That's such a terrible line," he mocked, knowing full well the impact his truth would have on her.

Just as he had expected his perceptive comment led her to laughter. She realized that not many people owned the bravado and the understanding to call her on things like that, and the irony that it enlisted was what made her smile. "Almost sounds like an invitation doesn't it?"

"An invitation to what?"

Replying with a sheepish grin that caught his curiosity she headed off to the right, beckoning for him to follow.

Brooke paused when she reached the car. Making sure he knew just what exactly he was supposed to be looking at she paused waiting for his reaction.

"I'm pretty sure we won't fit in the backseat if that's what you're asking." He remarked gesturing towards the overly priced sports car he knew to be a Porsche.

She replied with a smile, entertained with his antics. "Actually…no. You may have noticed that my car is now out of commission and since my dad had to fly back to California to keep tabs on his business I now have the Porsche."

He was surprised with his lack of jealousy but all the same very skeptical of what she was telling him. "Your dad left you with his Porsche."

Throwing her backpack into the very cramped back seat that Lucas had pointed out she began to shake her head. "Or I assumed that since he wasn't using it that meant it was okay for me to." She remembered as a child there had always been things of her father's that she hadn't been allowed to touch, whether it was his numerous golf clubs or one of his prized trophies or plaques. There were certain points in her life when she had been forbidden even to be around him. This was her revenge. She would find out what meant more, Daddy's Porsche or Daddy's Girl. Brooke only feared she already knew the answer. She kept the importance of the situation from Lucas, instead dangling the keys for him to see. "You know how to drive stick?"

Lucas almost laughed in response. While he understood the potential trouble the both of them could get into that wasn't the cause for his trepidation. "You're trusting me with your dad's car? Especially after yesterday?"

Brooke occupied herself, tying her hair back into a ponytail, preparing herself for the _ride._ She shrugged in response to him. "You have redeeming qualities. Besides, by the looks of it _you_ could use some wind in your face excitement and _I_ could use a tour of the town."


	8. Don't Stop Believing

**AN:** Well…I guess I should apologize for the lateness. I know my updates don't generally happen to quickly but this one has been incredibly delayed. Mostly I just have a hectic life to blame it on.

Also, I did something on my last update that I absolutely hate. I hate it when authors point out stuff that's in their update in the Authors Note. I think I was mostly worried that people were going to misinterpret the information but it was still a bad move on my part. But I can't really take it back or edit it out at this point but it bothers me a lot. If you have any questions concerning it I have no problem answering the more basic ones.

My last little blip is about this chapter itself. It is a little bit shorter than normal but that's the way my outlines have things worked out. However what it lacks in length is certainly makes up for in content- Brucas fans will surely enjoy. And because I love the band so much I'd just like to point out that the title to this chapter Don't Stop Believing is a Journey song.

Thanks to everyone that reviewed, hopefully one of these days I'll be able to repay you with a timely update. Enjoy and let me know what you all think!

* * *

Chapter 8 (Don't Stop Believing)

The "town tour" had been nothing short of educational. Lucas' extensive knowledge of the town, especially the bars and clubs that skimped on checking ID's better acquainted her with why exactly his reputation was so widely known. The way he talked about the small town held little comfort; he didn't point out any childhood hangouts or shrines of family memories. He talked about the town as though he held no emotional ties to it, like he didn't consider it home. While the tour itself had posed a proper distraction she seemed no closer to actually knowing her guide.

His lack of insightful personal revelations also guided Brooke towards considering her father. Her relationship with him had always been at least slightly strained. He was a business man, not a family man and she had been aware of the fact since childhood. While taking the car had been primarily about defiance it had also been about fantasy. She wanted to be able to pretend, if only for a moment, that she was there with him, enjoying the day and being the family she knew they were capable of.

She had been carefully taking in the town since they had arrived and nearly everything about it seemed comfortable. The atmosphere was so untainted and genuine; it was a perfect town for family and a part of her hoped at some point her father would realize the fact. However, if her current companion was any indication of what the small, comfortable town did to people she could only imagine the damage that awaited her.

Having been content to stare, somewhat blankly, out the front window of the car it took her a moment to realize they had stopped. Brooke glanced at the building they sat in front of and turned to Lucas. "So I know in a way we kind of stole this car from my dad but breaking into a house is pretty ambitious."

Lucas didn't reply at first, instead he exited the car motioning for her to follow. "Well, I figure we drove your dad's car, we might as well crash in my dad's house for a bit."

Brooke followed him up the steps, a bit bemused; this sudden burst of information surprised her and at the same time mislead her. "Does that mean your parents are separated?" She asked as he unlocked the door revealing the very bland, almost professional inside.

Right away Brooke noticed that again, even inside the house there was no shred of personal information. No family pictures, no homey paraphernalia just expensive furnishings and a spectacular view of the beach. The style was very masculine, which she figured had something to do with its owner but the absence of even a misplaced glass made her wonder what type of home it really was.

After they both had sat down he responded to the question she had left hanging in the air. "This is just sort of an extension. Before my parents were married this belonged to my dad."

Brooke took one more look around the somewhat unfeeling environment. It reminded her of a lot, of the rooms that in her childhood had been off limits. "Does he actually come here or just own it as some sort of messed up status symbol?" She asked somewhat bitterly, contemplating her own father's tendencies.

"He hasn't been here in a while." Lucas answered quickly, getting up and walking into the kitchen towards the fridge, yet another bland, undecorated installment in the house. When she was younger Brooke had been absolutely fascinated with the kids whose art work hung from the fridge, the sloppy drawings and hand prints that seemed to make their parents so proud. She wondered what that felt like. "You want something to drink?" Lucas asked.

Brooke nodded. "Whatever you're having is fine."

She smirked slightly spotting the beverages in his hand. "Ah-ha! So this is what this is." Her seemingly untimely _eureka_ had been in apparent good fun and she was sure Lucas understood this.

Lucas handed her the drink, sitting opposite Brooke on the couch. He shot her a confused smile before taking a sip of his beer.

"You're trying to get me drunk so you can score." He eyed her in response, somewhat amused. "Tell you what, pull out some real liquor and we'll do shots. I'll bet you anything you're the real light weight here."

Lucas merely grinned at her. The truth was he'd noticed her becoming somewhat distanced in the car, a little too much like himself, and he wanted to loosen her up. So far, however, his hormonal urges had played no part in his decisions.

"So what big shot? Are you scared some girl might beat you are your own game. I'm serious, crack out some real booze and let's have a contest."

He leaned back on the couch, finding her competitive spirit to be a bit of a turn on. "Are you hungry?"

Brooke rolled her eyes, smiling widely at him. "Do you enjoy seeing me get all worked up?

He shook his head, "No, it's just that bread soaks up alcohol really well. And if we're really going to do this we're eventually going to need some way to sober up."

Feigning anger she chucked a pillow in his direction, satisfied as it bounced off his head, nearly knocking the beer bottle right out of his hand. "You don't have to lie to me," Brooke said, her underlying tone flirty and light, "is this where you take your dates when the conversation goes flat?"

"No, that's what backseats are for," he mocked, "this is just a nice place to get away and relax." As he spoke Brooke noticed somewhat of a gentle quality overcoming him, he was acting very much like her first impression of him had been but even less guarded.

"How often would you say you come here?"

Lucas sighed heavily, not wanting to divulge too much in his attempt to cheer her up. Too much honesty, too quickly, he had learned, was not always a good thing. "It depends."

* * *

Hours had passed since their arrival, and while the booze had played a part in loosening both of them up, the causal but relaxed friendship seemed more reliant on a certain inept understanding of one another. Lucas remained on the couch, his head on top of a throw pillow and his feet hanging off the arm rest. His blue eyes carefully took in Brooke, whose figure had shrunk before him. He had offered her a blanket which she had accepted leaving her small frame curled up on the recliner looking more secure than he had seen her. 

"Do you miss Haley?" Brooke asked quietly with an earnest quality she knew he wouldn't turn away. They had been through the motions of flirty banter and sensing the companionable comfort that had washed over the two of them more serious subject matter seemed appropriate.

Lucas remained quiet for a moment, studying Brooke's expression. He didn't actually know how to the answer the question, he didn't really know Haley anymore and he knew better than anyone that you couldn't expect people not to change. "Sometimes. It's kind of like we were so young when we were close and it might just have been adolescence that brought us apart. I can't miss something that's not really there." He didn't like lying to her but one slip up and the whole truth would unravel. "What about you, any close friends back in California?"

Brooke came more willingly with information. California was something she could confront. "That kind of depends on your definition of a close friend. I don't know if it was my fault or theirs but it never felt like any of them ever really knew me. I look back on it and think maybe I used them to help me be something I wasn't."

"But what if you didn't?"

She smiled softly at his interest in what she had said. It'd been a while since she'd been with someone who not only let her talk but understood the lines of where to question her and how to remain unbiased on the things she had to say. "Then I have to face the fact that maybe I'm a really shitty person with nobody to blame but myself."

"Or maybe you're like every other kid in high school trying to balance friends with family, fun with responsibility and past with future." His talent involving advice and guidance had never really been tested before and it was beginning to surprise him how natural it seemed.

Brooke nodded appreciatively, letting him know how glad she was to have him there with her. The transformation had surprised her but then he had proved to her before that he was much more open and real when it was just the two of them. While the fact that he put up a front around his peers annoyed her, to some extent she could understand it and if he wasn't going to judge her she was going to refrain from making a judgment on him as well.

"So is there a bathroom somewhere in here I can use to wash up?" Brooke asked. She had become more aware of the way he had been studying her, how intently focused he seemed to be and the attention had made her a little bit uneasy. Not to say that she wasn't flattered, or that she was put off but she had found genuine male attention to be a bit of a rarity and she wasn't quite sure how to react to it.

Lucas lifted his head motioning down a hallway. "Second door on your right."

"Thanks," she muttered, swiftly walking past him, trying not to relay the unease that had so suddenly caught her off guard.

Lucas rose from the couch as Brooke exited the room heading over towards the kitchen looking for something to placate his hunger. He moved quickly through the cupboards, knowing the contents they held quite well. The beach house wasn't the occasional get-a-way he had made it sound like to Brooke. It was more like his home, there had been plenty of times he broke curfew just to rest in quiet solitude on the beach. For her own reasons his mother never dropped by and while he would have liked to confront her about it he wasn't sure it was worth the risk of losing the house all together.

Brooke's light footsteps sounded subtly against the hardwood flooring, leading her into the bathroom. She flipped on the lights and took in her appearance, noticing a discernable tiredness evident in the dark circles that mirrored her hazel eyes. For all the time she had spent primping in the mirror before school she could not hide the effect life seemed to be having on her.

She sighed heavily and then proceeded to open the medicine cabinet in search of soap or any fragrance that might distract from her current odor of wet dirt. It seemed the over exposure or speeding in a convertible was not the most glamorous of activities. As she peered into the cabinet a reflection caught her eye. On the lower shelf she spotted several pieces of broken glass discarded with what looked like a picture frame. All too curious at what could be the only picture in the entire house she carefully pulled the shattered frame from the cabinet.

Although he couldn't have been over five years old at the time she recognized Lucas right away, even noticing a few of his more subtle facial features. She took a moment to appreciate the curve of his smile and the way his father's expression seemed to embody nothing but pride and love. It was obvious to her why Lucas seemed so comfortable in the house, even without its homey qualities the memories of it must have been enough. However, it wasn't clear to her why the frame would be broken, and the picture so carelessly discarded and hidden. She suspected Lucas wouldn't be so open to answering a round of personal questions; this particular mystery would have to wait.

When she met back up with Lucas he was standing outside, leaning on a wooden railing, starring off into the ocean. The slight breeze tousled through his t-shirt and hair as his expression stayed constant. She couldn't help but notice how incredibly lost he looked in that moment.

"So the brood-a-thon has begun?" She mocked lightly, standing several feet behind him.

He slowly turned his head in her direction, not moving from his current position, "Are you ready to go home?"

Brooke merely rolled her eyes, not in response to Lucas but to the thought of having somewhere to call hom_e_. The word _home _didn't exist to her anymore, she wasn't sure if it ever had. She walked over next to him, the skin of her arm brushing up against him. The risk to her seemed worth it, she knew the physical security he could offer he would take away at least some of the pain. It had nothing to do with trust at this point; she just needed to finally feel something good.

Apparently having re-grown his heart in the past couple hours, Lucas didn't pull away. Instead of being disgusted by the thought of a girl needing him, and relying on him he felt lucky. Brooke provoked things in him he didn't know that he'd ever felt and on that specific night he didn't feel the desire to push them away. He unraveled his arms and placed a hand on the small of her back, inviting her closer to him. This sparked a quiet smile from Brooke as she leaned even further into Lucas.

She wasn't sure how exactly she had known he wouldn't turn away. The thought of being unwanted by one of the few people she had ever been honest with terrified her but there was something about him that was protective. There was something about the way he acted that reminded her of safety. As far as gauging how much he cared about her, she had known simply by the way he first responded to her seemingly snide comment.

"You can stay here tonight," he said softly, judging by the absence of her answer that was what she had wanted.

Brooke nodded in response, not being able to fully respond. It had been so long since someone had looked out for her well being, it had been so long since she'd let someone. She attempted to block out her emotions but she couldn't stop the first few tear drops from falling. She nervously batted at them with her hand, not wanting Lucas to see. He was so strong and distanced from his own emotions. It would have been easier had she been the same.

She waited for a few moments to pass, to discern whether or not he had noticed her crying and to pull herself together. It was reassuring to feel the warmth from his body surrounding her, acting as some sort of band-aid for the constant aching in her heart.

"When are you going to leave, for home?" She finally prompted.

Lucas finally turned to look at her, noticing the streaks of tears washing down her face. "I'm not."

"But what about your parents? Won't they wonder where you are?" Brooke responded. Even though she had assumed there was something wrong with Lucas' life she didn't know exactly what it was and whether or not it implied what sort of terms he was on with his family.

"Honestly, I don't really care," he paused for a second, "not tonight anyway."


	9. Life in the Fast Lane

So, just a quick explanation on the song lyrics in here. While I was writing this chapter I had my i-pod on shuffle and The Eagles song Life in the Fast Lane came on and it clicked. The song fits perfectly with the overall story and the idea of it really meshes well with this chapter. I'm just putting the first verse in but in the odd chance you haven't already heard the song, I would suggest listening to it in its entirely or at least looking up the rest of the lyrics to get the full meaning.

Thanks to all my reviewers! This chapter was especially fun to write so I'd really love to hear what you guys think about it.

And just to answer a question you might have about this chapter, in chapter 8 I had Brooke and Lucas talking and I'm going to bring up some of those topics in this chapter that I didn't spell out in the last.

* * *

Chapter 9 (Life in the Fast Lane)

_He was a hard-headed man, he was brutally handsome_

_And she was terminally pretty_

_She held him up and he held for ransom_

_In the heart of the cold, cold city_

_He had a nasty reputation as a cruel dude_

_They said he was ruthless, said he was crude_

_They had one thing in common_

_They were good in bed_

_She said faster, faster_

_The lights are turning red_

The couple had parted ways at the back house, Brooke taking the car and Lucas opting to walk home. He claimed he didn't have a first period and could stand to be late; Brooke figured he was just hoping to avoid his parents before they left for work. Either way she didn't call him on it.

After arriving home and showering Brooke called Haley, asking for a ride to school. Even though her disdain towards her father was still very much the same she didn't feel the same urge to take the car. It almost gave him power over her and she just couldn't stand the thought of him controlling yet another aspect of her life. Haley agreed without question, having no knowledge of the Porsche or Brooke's late night company for that matter.

The two girls made small talk on their way to school, their distinctly different interests meshing quite nicely. While Brooke could spend hours discussing celebrity gossip and fashion Haley tended to pick more familiar topics, like the plot lines to her favorite TV shows and books. Brooke often considered the fact that at her old school and in her old life she would most likely never have associated with Haley. Instead she would have been lumped more closely with Lucas and his friends, who she could see did not have anywhere near the devotion Haley did.

Brooke and Haley arrived on campus together, still buzzing over their car conversations when Brooke spotted Lucas at his locker. She didn't want to leave Haley to see him but her sudden disinterest in their conversation gave her away.

Haley turned in the direction Brooke's eyes had been wandering; she looked back to her friend. "Have you talked to him lately?" she asked, somewhat cautiously.

Brooke nodded, still not completely facing Haley. "Would you completely hate me if I went over there?"

Haley shook her head _no_, pleased to see at least the faint signs of guilt in Brooke's expression. It wasn't that she wanted Brooke to feel bad about seeing Lucas but it was reassuring to know that she was at least being considered for once. "Meet me for lunch?"

"Sure thing bitch," Brooke managed with a smile before heading off in Lucas' direction.

Haley looked on quietly as the two teenagers embraced shortly. Her feelings hadn't changed on the subject but she had decided to stay out of it. As she watched the two of them there did seem to be a comfort and an understanding between them and she was glad for that. She just wasn't certain the future of their relationship would bode quite as well.

"So I thought you said you were skipping first?" Brooke prompted her body still close to Lucas as they pulled out of the hug.

He nodded, his head slightly bowed to accommodate her shorter stature. "We have a game tonight and coach needed to see me in his office this morning."

"Oh, right," she said, playing with the strap on his back pack, "I forgot, you're one of those macho jocks whose sole focus in life is to win the big game."

He grinned at her sarcasm; the way it came off very honestly and convincingly almost as though she was attacking him but by the dimpled smile that crowned her expression he knew otherwise. "If I remember correctly, last night you hinted at your cheer captain status at your old school. Maybe you should consider your own affiliation with it before attempting to mock mine."

Brooke pulled him away from his locker as they started to walk down the hallway, toward her first period class. "But you see there's a difference. I was a cheerleader. You still are a jock."

"Are you thinking about trying out here?" He asked innocently.

She thought about it for a moment before shaking her head. "I'm kind of one of those people that likes to run things and I'm pretty sure there's already an ordained ho-bag here who's captain of the squad. You've probably slept with her too." She paused. "Just think how awkward that would be."

He led her to the wall beside her classroom. "Awkward because…you'd try and steal her position or because of me?" Lucas couldn't tell if she was being vague on purpose or because she didn't truly know the answer either.

Brooke giggled softly; his interest concerning his own position in her life seemed to be a bit of a turn on for her. The way his eye brows furrowed in confusion softened him; it was _cute, _certainly not a word she would have associated with him days beforehand. "Find me after class. We'll talk pep club later." She winked at him before turning into the classroom, certain that his eyes were glued to her as she sauntered away from him. Catching a guy's interest had never been her problem; it was more a question of maintaining it once he got to know her.

Lucas shook his head, a rare smile gracing his scruffy face as he turned away from the classroom. He spotted the kid he had bumped into the other day, Mouth. The smaller teenager acknowledged Lucas with a slight head nod before disappearing into his own classroom. It surprised him how few people he actually knew at his own school. Walking through the hallways he had never stopped to consider any of the other students besides those that fit into his group of _friends. _His entire high school experience had been incredibly selective and even out of the group of kids he did associate with he didn't really know anything about them – not that there was too much revealing information horny, stoned athletes could give about themselves.

He felt a hand clasp on his back and immediately swung around to face his coach, affectionately called Whitey by most of the student population.

"Easy there son." The older man remarked taking in the boy in front of him. Few people knew the exact past of Lucas and his family. Neither Lucas nor his parents ever discussed the topic openly, but Whitey had been able to quite easily deduce the foundations of abuse in the boy's household. Lucas was a star player but along with being exceptionally talented he also tended to be very confrontational. Had it not been for Whitey's position on the school board, Lucas most likely would have been attending school in an entirely different district.

"Coach." Lucas tersely stated starring into the face of the one faculty member he had any respect for.

"Jagielski called. He's not gonna make it to the game tonight. We're gonna have to go through formations again. Why don't you try and round up the rest of the boys and we'll go ahead and meet in the gym. And Lucas," he paused, "don't you go fraternizing with our new student. I need you focused for the game. Attend to your hormonal urges some other time."

"Yeah. Alright." Lucas stated giving off that distracted, distanced quality people had grown accustomed to. It was ironic because Lucas tended to be quite an intense individual but his apparent interest in conversation was nearly nonexistent. It was always hard tell if something was important to him. Coach Cosgrove figured it was out of necessity, a trait learned over the years to protect the few things closest to the boy's heart.

* * *

The two girls took a seat at what had become their _usual _lunch table. The stability of it suddenly seemed a great comfort to Haley, having not known a consistent companion for quite some time. Although, one of the things Haley had learned about her newly found friend was Brooke's interest in everything around her. Whenever the two were having a conversation Brooke's attention always skipped from place to place even though her knowledge of the discussion never seemed to falter. 

"So, do you know that girl Bevin?" Brooke prompted her focus for once solely on Haley.

"I know of her, I think." Haley explained, trying not to make her less popular status highlight the conversation. "Blonde, sort of pretty, a little slow on the uptake?"

"Yep, that's the one. She's in a couple of my classes, she seems really nice." Having very little knowledge of any of the students at her new school her statement came off somewhat questioning, as if she was looking for Haley to confirm her assumption.

Haley merely shrugged. "I really don't have much to say on the topic. She's a cheerleader. So to me that means stereotypical, rich teenage girl. I'm not sure I'd trust anything about her especially her being honest or nice."

Brooke considered her friend's statement. Lucas knew of her cheerleading past but only because of his similar association with that part of high school. In her old life she had been proud of her status on the squad, but sitting in the courtyard with Haley, enjoying the simplicity of a drama free school day, she found that her past embarrassed her. "Have you heard about that party on Friday night?" Brooke asked, deciding to steer the conversation in a slightly different direction.

Her question was met with laughter as Haley appeared to find the harmless question to be somewhat ridiculous. "Maybe you got the wrong idea the other night but high school parties aren't exactly my thing. I'm more of a work until the café closes and then go home and read a book kind of girl and people at this school know that. They don't rush up to me to invite me to the _can't miss_ party Friday night. It's just not my crowd."

Brooke didn't quite know how to respond, Haley seemed more sensitive on the subject than she would have guessed. "So then why did you go to that party the other night?"

Haley pursed her lips. "Can we just change the subject? I'd really rather not discuss this." Her response jaded with an unfamiliar anxious quality, she tried to make a firm stand against discussing the topic at hand. She realized only after she had made the statement that a small white lie could have distinguished the conversation altogether. She had told that very same lie to her parents and even to herself.

But then that was where Haley and Brooke tended to differ. Haley had always been an honest individual, everything about her life and her own past was fair game for conversation. She had nothing to hide of her own demons. Brooke on the other hand had taken to lying or skirting her way out of messy conversations as a means of self preservation. She wasn't an instinctually dishonest person but she had learned that the _honest to God truth _was nothing but honest and didn't please quite as nicely as lying did.

"Come to this party with me and I'll drop it." Brooke said a hint of a challenge clinging to her tone and the confident grin she wore. Haley had been robbed of the few truly enjoyable aspects of high school. Brooke was already certain in Haley's ascertaining of a true friend, the next obstacle to tackle was her social life.

"How is that even a compromise?" Haley questioned, beginning to realize she was fighting a losing battle. "And besides, you and Lucas should go together." She suggested in her last attempt to get out of the party despite her overall feelings concerning the couple.

"Lucas." Brooke repeated with a sigh, her overzealous demeanor abating for a moment. "We aren't exactly in that couple-y place right now and besides," she said picking up momentum, "if I go with him then who will you go with?"

Haley ignored the question, not quite understanding the complexities involved in her friend's relationship. "What do you mean you guys aren't a couple? You seemed pretty friendly earlier today."

Searching for the correct way to explain something she barely understood, Brooke took to her usual tactics of stalling. Her gaze moved through the lunch tables. She found herself searching for Lucas amidst the crowd of jocks, looking for an out or an encouraging smile from him, possibly his insisting to clarify the impossible situation to his childhood friend. A long shot, she knew but that didn't stop her form wishing it.

Assuming that Haley was thinking the worst Brooke finally attempted to set her straight, feeling the overwhelming need to defend her relationship. Haley was different than the friend's she'd had in the past. Not only did she demand honesty but she also deserved it.

"We're not fuck buddies or anything like that." Brooke insisted, wanting to extinguish the bad faith Haley seemed to have in Lucas' intentions. "I've heard enough about the type of relationships he's had in the past to even really initiate anything sexual with him. I told you before that I do genuinely like him so we're going slow. I know it's not something either of us is used to but he's important to me and right now we're just friends."

"Friends go to parties together. Look at us." The blonde replied simply, not having much to say in response.

"So you are going with me than?" Brooke stated, smiling at the scowl her statement left on her friend's face. Before Haley had a chance to deny it Brooke spoke again. "I get this whole high school reputation thing he's got going. If we go to a party together people will assume. For both my sake and his it's best if we figure our relationship out without the entire school watching."

"You're really serious about this huh?" Haley said, referring to Lucas and how thoughtfully and carefully Brooke attended to her relationship with him.

"You bet," Brooke responded with a mischievous grin. "You are definitely coming to that party with me."

* * *

Lucas snuck into the house, his first time home in nearly two days. He had been able to avoid going home in the morning as he kept spare clothing in both the locker room and his truck but with his jersey hanging in his closet he couldn't afford not to return home. After checking to see that both of his parent's cars were gone he pulled into the driveway and proceeded to walk into the lavishly furnished household. 

In his life he had become well accustomed to extremes. He remembered the days when it was a struggle just to get everyone fed with the limited amount of money they had but both his parent's private businesses had eventually flourished. His mom's café brought in a modest amount of revenue but accompanied by his father's dealership making ends meet became a preoccupation of the past. Instead of exchanging new sneakers for Christmas the family grew familiar with expensive gifts that oftentimes overflowed the living room.

Lucas couldn't say that he preferred one life style to the other. With the surplus of money his parents often felt less guilty about the life he had endured and more inclined to remind him of all that he did have instead of the unfortunate moments of his childhood. On the other hand it did feel good knowing that at any time he felt the desire he could load into his brand new truck and take off, a luxury that would have been absent had it not been for the family's money.

As he ascended up the staircase he caught sight of his brother, the younger boy's attention fixated on his computer screen, the sounds of hip hop blasting through the house. Lucas nearly smiled at this. Nathan tended to obey any type of adult authority, whether it be parents, school teachers or the county police. There had been a time Lucas wondered how his sibling could breathe with all that obedience, he couldn't fathom how Nathan could live without actually living. But the younger boy did have the faint beginnings of the rebellious ways of his brother. His loud music would only be turned up so loud during the day when neither Karen nor Keith was home. Lucas wondered what else his brother hid from their parents but at least he could be sure Nathan wasn't completely smothered by their respect seeking parents.

Slamming his door Lucas attempted to escape from his brother's distraction. Had it been something slightly less unruly Lucas would have stormed into his brother's room and put a stop to it but this was different. He respected Nathan's anger and frustration, it was one of the few things the two boys had in common.

Nathan, however, heard the door slam and immediately shut off his music and walked to his brother's room, opening the door to peek inside. Lucas sat on the edge of his bed putting a pill in his mouth and taking a gulp of water. Nathan watched with interest as Lucas tossed the pill bottle into his bag. Pleased with his eavesdropping qualities Nathan pushed the door open to get a better view.

"Nate. What the hell are you doing?" Lucas asked in more of a casual manner than anything, startling his brother who was cursing himself for having gotten caught.

Nathan pushed the doorway completely open shrugging his shoulders. "Are you taking steroids?" He asked, motioning towards the bag he'd seen Lucas drop the pill bottle in. His assumption coming from how extreme his brother seemed to be.

Lucas merely smiled, pulling the bottle out of his bag and tossing it his to brother. "They're pain killers little brother, for sore muscles. Nothing more." He knew better than to blow up at Nathan for something so innocent. Had he attempted to keep it a secret he knew Nathan would report back to their parents further winding the animosity between Lucas and the rest of the family.

Nathan nodded, throwing the plastic container back to his brother who seemed strangely at ease. He could hardly remember a time the two of them had ever gotten along, let alone had a casual conversation but he made sure to take advantage of the opportunity. "How come you didn't come home last night?" Lucas shrugged, getting up and going through his closet, searching for the jersey. "Dad was pissed." Nathan added, trying to convey the situation to his brother. "They're expecting to talk with you tonight, Mom even called your cell phone to let you know."

Without giving a thought to his parents wishes Lucas turned to his brother. "I have a game tonight and I won't be home till late. Just tell Mom I'm fine. And tell Dad to go fuck himself."


	10. Authors Note

**The summary of this long explanation is that I'm not going to be continuing this story any longer, nor will I be writing anymore OTH fics. Before you yell at me, or if you just would like some sort of explanation and maybe a glimmer of hope keep reading. **

Well…here comes that dreaded Author's Note that immeasurably pisses every single person off that has invested their time in reading this fic. Unfortunately I have absolutely no desire to keep writing this. One Tree Hill…just doesn't interest me anymore. The storylines are crap and even though Painful Nostalgia was AU for some reason it makes it incredibly difficult to even deal with the characters. After four seasons I've realized that I really don't care about any of them because they just don't make any sense. I apologize for this, but especially with the lack of attention this story gets it doesn't seem worth it anymore.

My only consolation for you all is if you watch Supernatural. I sort of swapped OTH out for that, being that two brothers who are lanky, baby faced, whiny and "shoot hoops" aren't quite up to contending with two brothers that are buff, attractive, stoic and shoot guns. It's ironic that although the show is about ghost hunting it's more realistic than One Tree Hill has ever been. So I may be writing a Supernatural fic, I honestly don't know. I'm not really into that weird paranormal type stuff so that might make it difficult but we'll see what happens.

And again I'm incredibly sorry for those of you that did really enjoy this fic. I have had some very devoted reviewers and I have you all to thank for helping me stay motivated and get the story this far along. The problem is that's its taken me nearly a year to get ten chapters posted and back then I was at least sort of enjoying the show. The duration of time between updates now might be 5 months if I continued and then OTH probably isn't even going to stay on air long enough for me to post two more chapters.

If I could think of a short way to wrap this up and tie off loose ends…maybe in a one-shot I might consider that. Painful Nostalgia had a ways to go and a lot more back story to unearth. I will try my best to come up with something that's effective in concluding this story but I can't make any guarantees. My decision to stop writing Painful Nostalgia is final though so I'd appreciate it if you all would respect that.


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